I recently saw a trailer for the movie ‘I Love You Man,’ a comedy starring Paul Rudd, whose character goes on ‘man dates’ to find a best man for his wedding. It’s apparently about one guy’s search for ‘bro love’-the kind of relationships that heterosexual (and platonic homosexuals) males have for one another.
Being a ‘man’s man’ myself, I thought it appropriate to talk about the prototypical man’s man, Brand Dude.
Who is Brand Dude? you ask. And what makes Brand Dude, the Dude? Good questions, and I will answer each, in turn.
Who is Brand Dude? First, Brand Dude is the iconic Dude (I know it’s bad form to use a word to define a word, but in this instance it’s appropriate). Brand Dude is any man that elevates being a dude to an art form. He’s the one you think of when you think of cool. Suave? (Need you ask?) Check. Confident? Of course, but never arrogant. Handsome? Duh! Women swoon and blush at a mere, ‘do you have the time?’ Brand dude is what every regular dude aspires to be.
We’ve seen countless examples of Brand Dude in our lives, but they’re sometimes so cool, that we fail to acknowledge their innate dudeness. Ashton Kutcher, (funny, cougar-loving) dude. Steve McQueen, Brand Dude. George W, dude (dumb dude, but dude nonetheless). Barack, Brand Dude. A-Rod, (trifling, lying, two-timing, steroid-poppin’) dude. Hank Aaron, Brand Dude. T.I., (small, bout-to-do-a-bid-for-illegal-gun-possession) dude. Jay Z, Brand Dude.
What makes Brand Dude, THE Dude? Brand Dude makes being a dude look easy. We all know ‘dudes.’ They’re the ones who show up at the party with the six pack of Bud. Brand Dude arrives with the case of Heinekens. Dudes will buy you a drink. Brand Dude runs a tab. Dudes brag about their sexual escapades. Brand Dude kisses, but never tells. While dudes walk about with chests a’ puffin’, Brand Dude glides through life with an air of quite assurance.
Women, don’t settle for any ol’ dude, find yourself a Brand Dude.
Dudes, don’t let women pass you by because you’re just a plain ol’ dude, improve your stock and become BRAND DUDE.
This has been a public service announcement.