I am the worst softball player on the face of the planet


What’s worse than striking out in softball?  

How about striking out in softball LOOKING at the pitch?

This is what I did (twice) looking at the pitches!  I suck.

This is what I did (twice) looking at the pitches! I suck.

Would it be worse if you did it TWICE?

What if you also had three errors, that resulted in 8 more runs being scored in one inning (for a total of 14)?  

Now if you talked shit and heckled the other team and the umpire the entire game, would that make it worse?

Or how about if you bragged incessantly about your softball prowess before the game started?

What if the bragging started the day before with your co-workers in the office?  

But what if it’s the last inning of the game, you’re down 10 runs, 2 outs, 2 on, the count’s 2 and 2, and you’re at the plate, pointing to the left field (Babe Ruth-like), and when the pitch comes, you just watch it, in slow motion, cross the plate, and you hear the umpire (that you’ve been heckling all game) yell “Strike!”?  

If you had to ride the subway home, with the entire opposing team, alone, on the 3 train from 144th to 34th Street, as they mocked you, would that suck?

How about when you showed up at work the next day, and listened to the entire episode played out by each team member walking into the office, recounting the previous night’s fiasco to the rest of the office (like some twisted Twilight Zone episode), that would be awkward, wouldn’t it?

Well boys and girls, this is no hypothetical.  

These are actual events from the day in the life of the worst softball player in the world – your’s truly.

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