Stephen Chukumba says: “Take It Easy, Mon”

By my own admission, I’m an aggressive driver. When I’m behind the wheel, drive correct or stay the f*ck out of my way. It’s really just that simple.

Now I don’t have road rage. I’m not gonna chase you down with my Jeep and run you off the road or anything like that. Whatever anger I may feel towards sh*tty drivers is fleeting and short-lived. It’s usually restrained to a cuss word (or two) and I’m over it.

If you are in the fast lane, and won’t cede the way so that I can pass your slow stupid a*s, then I may cuss you out until I’ve managed to get by you. I might even throw you an ill hatred-filled stare when I can finally pass you, but it goes no further than that.

There is nothing I hate more than folks who don’t know how to share the road with other vehicles. So you can imagine my chagrin when I encountered this old school sky blue Toyota pickup heading in the opposite direction on a two-way street today, and the guy was driving in the center of the road.

Granted, there were cars parked on both sides of the road, but there was still ample space for us to pass each other, unimpeded by parked cars or any other obstruction.

But rather than move over to his side of the road, and let me pass on mine, dude drove the whole way in the center of the road, only moving to his right, when he had cleared the last parked car on his side. And I was pissed at having had to wait for his slow drivin’-miss-daisy-in-a-sky-blue-jalopy ass.

I guess dude could sense my frustration because as we passed each other, the driver in a thick Jamaican accent said (rather casually), ‘Take it easy, mon.’

And you know what? It was really sage advice. I definitely take myself (and my Mario Andretti-like driver persona) waaaaayyyy too seriously. Where am I really going? (At the time, home. So what was the rush?)

I had to laugh (at myself) because I was ready to let a torrent of cussing flow when I got up to dude’s car for being such a sh*tty driver and not properly navigating a two-way street. But dude’s simple words were so disarming, that I was forced to check myself.

It was a momentary lapse. All other (non-Jamaican) drivers, beware.