Stephen Chukumba says: “Keep Your Crap Off My Lawn You Nasty M*th@F*ck!#”


Why do (some) people who own dogs fail to clean up after them when they poop on other people’s lawns? I mean really, is it that hard to scoop up a little sh*t when your dog has finished it’s business?

Keep your crapper off my lawn!

Keep your crapper off my lawn!

I don’t own a dog, but far too often I find dog poops on my lawn. I mean, WTF? Why am I bending down to scoop up the sh*t of a dog that I don’t own?

I’ve got kids for chrissakes! One day they’re gonna step in some dog doo and come tracking it into the house. Eeeeewwwww!

If I wanted to clean up dog sh*t, I would own a dog. But I don’t, so why am I cleaning up after someone else’s dog? More importantly, why is some nasty muthaf*cker letting their f*cking dog crap on my lawn?

I think the offending sh*t-leaver is this French woman who lives around the corner from me. She has a big ole dog, and I never see her with baggies-EVER.

She’s always jogging down the block (presumably away from the dump her dog just took), and although I’ve never seen her dog foul my lawn, I’m almost positive it’s her.

It would be like the French not to clean up their dogs. When I was in Cannes a few years ago, I saw all these ‘Please clean up after your dog’ signs (in French) all over the city. And I thought, ‘hmm.’

In hindsight, they probably put these signs up to get those nasty muthaf*ckers to keep all the dog sh*t from fouling that beautiful city.

But it also meant that at some point dog owners probably weren’t cleaning up after their sh*tty dogs, and had to take drastic steps to ensure compliance. These signs were literally everywhere.

I’m thinking about putting up one of those signs up on my lawn. Or perhaps I should sprinkle some anti-dog pellets.

Maybe I should just go and take a healthy dump on the alleged offender’s lawn.

That’ll learn her, nasty m*th@f*ck!#.

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