Declined general anesthesia, opting instead for a local (I’m a man, I can take it).
Shaved my balls.
Cleaned with cold betadine solution.
Observed the doc (aka ‘The Sadist’) change gloves.
Where’s that needle going?
Got a shot in my balls. Slight OUCH!
“Which razor are you going to use?” (says the nurse)
Razor? What happened to the scalpel?
Felt my left vas deferen (is that the proper singular?) being pulled out.
The feeling was like someone punched me in the gut through a pillow.
Is that supposed to hurt?
Let’s give him some more local.
More needles in my balls.
Now he’s doing something down there, which created a tingly sensation in my bum.
He’s got a needle and thread.
Must be finishing on the left side.
First side down, no worse for the wear.
On to the right side.
iPhone alarm just went off reminding me I’m having surgery in 30 minutes.
Pulls out the vas deferens on the right side.
Got that punched in the gut feeling again.
Feel like I’ve got to pee.
“Hey doc, OUCH!”
Get a couple more shots of local to dull the sensation.
Sounds of sizzling bacon.
“Doc you’re not cooking down there are you?”
Laughter. But no answer.
Using some new fangled tool (new clip applier) on my balls.
Mindless banter between the doctor and nurse as they sew some more.
Status update: “Almost done.”
“Moving along quite nicely. You’re scrotum is cooperating.”
It’s the private schooling.
2:07 p.m. Surgery complete.
Cleaning me up.
Start to finish about 20 minutes.
No big deal. No sweat.
Just saw the quarter-inch piece of vas deferens they removed from the left side.
Looks like a red piece of rice.
I tried to Tweet live from the operating table, but couldn’t get a signal, so this blog post is the next best thing.
I feel like someone kicked me in my nether region.
I’m high on oxy right now, so I’m going to bed.