Dear Santa, I want an iPad for my 40th birthday

Dear Santa,

I know I haven’t written to you in eons, but please don’t hold that against me.

I would like a 32GB iPad with Wi-Fi and 3G in Black for my 40th birthday.

I recognize that you usually don’t do birthdays, unless they fall on Christmas, of course.

But I think you can make an exception.

With four kids, a sagging economy and bills to pay, gifting myself a shiny new gadget is not the most responsible thing I could be doing with my money.

That’s where you come in.

I want it.

For years, I’ve assumed that parents, not you, were the real jolly giants placing presents under the tree.

My belief in you was shattered one year when my Uncle hung a Santa suit (still on the hanger) from his collar, and proceeded to ‘Ho-ho-ho’ in the thickest Nigerian accent.

The disappointment of my siblings, cousins and I, was palpable.

But as I approach 40, I’ve come to see the error of my ways (discounting your very existence).

And, well…I’m desperate.

You see, I’ve been very good this year.

I’m on the front line with the 4 kids, and that includes the 9 week old. Think smelly diapers, vomit, sleep deprivation.

I coach my son’s soccer team. Organized confusion.

I take the kids to Kumon twice a week. Can you say: Chinese water-torture?

I had the procedure. This alone should justify you getting me one! Hello?

I could go on, but you’re Santa. You’ve got the whole ‘naughty and nice’ list.

One of my friends, Ewan who publishes the Mobile Industry Review, put a call out for someone in the States to buy him an iPad and ship it to him in the UK.

A day later Gif Gfroerer from i2SMS did just that. Gif was reimbursed – he’s not all generous like you.

The point is that Ewan made a wish, and the Universe granted it.

Santa, I don’t know if you’ve got skills like that, but my birthday isn’t until April 21st. So you’ve got time.

I’m counting on you. (Picture me doe-eyed, blinking, looking up at you.)


Stephen (who-hopes-you’re-real-but-knows-you’re-not-and-prays-that-someone-within-the-sound-of-this-blog-post-is-reading-moved-and-paid-enough-to-hook-a-bruh-up) Chukumba

PS If you need to talk to the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny to pool your funds, by all means do.


Filed under Smack talking

6 responses to “Dear Santa, I want an iPad for my 40th birthday

  1. Pingback: Mission iPad: The Power of Personal Networks « Stephen Chukumba Says

  2. Henry Ellis

    Do you regress due to the looming big “4 – 0”, or do you really want another gadget. I feel the need for a PS3, and a Cadillac Escalade, Black. I know my shallow needs are because of my pending 40th. Good luck on yours. Long time since Hollowbrook Pool in the summers.


    • I’ve always been a gadget-a-tron, so the big 4-0 has little to do with it. It’s really a great excuse to ask my network of family, friends and associates to hook me up without having to feel ashamed of myself for being so blatant about it. Hollowbrook! Damn son! You went there! It really has been ages (I’m about to turn 40 – hello?)


      • H. Ellis

        My wife wants one too. We went to Apple Store at Willowbrook and she loves the reader feature on the IPad. I bought her the Sony Reader for Christmas in 2009. She bought another in Sony Reader in 2010 when the ’09 version was sent out for repairs (daughter dropped it). The new Sony doesn’t have the back light. The IPad has the back light feature. The sales staff at the store say the 3G model is not out yet and that it also comes with a monthly fee of $29.99 for unlimited data. Her birthday isn’t until June, so it should be out by then. The price tag of $869 for the 64GB with wifi and 3G seems reasonable. I look forward to getting it for her. I have to wait until the 3G model comes out. Good luck on Santa bringing you one.


      • @H. Ellis, my network hooked me up and I’ll be ordering my iPad 3G too! I can’t wait!


  3. 4V Terror

    We need a Santa for adults LOL… Good Luck, post pics when ya get it.


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