It’s Official. I’m old(ish). The saga of a fool in glasses.


I’m still quite striking in…glasses.

Take a good look at the picture above.

Notice anything different?

No, I’m not more handsome.

It’s the glasses!

I’m wearing glasses!

And they’re not cosmetic.

I actually need them to see.

I’ve been straining my eyes whenever I look at my phone, tablet, computer screens, business cards…essentially anything that uses a 10 point (or smaller) font.

Mind you, this situation has been going on for some time.

I first notice it when I was reading an email (or text) on my iPhone…and had to pull the phone away from my face (old head style) to see what it said.

Imagine my shock when I realized what I had done.

I used to make fun of my mom and dad whenever I saw them doing the exact same thing, so I was justifiably horrified to be standing in their footsteps.

I’m only 42 damn it!

I eat my carrots, spinach, kale, collards…all good eye health foods.

I exercise regularly.

Yeah, so I stare at computer screens, mobile and tablet devices all day…

But damn!

Should I really be rocking glasses right now?

It’s not the end of the world.

My vision is still good.

The glasses are purely for magnification.

15 minutes on, 15 minutes off.

That’s what the doctor said.

But he also said that I’m going to need progressively stronger magnification every year.

Every year!

WTF?!

What’s next?

A walker?

Depends?

Hearing aid?

Not on my watch.

Not on my watch!

Let it be known that I’m not going down without a fight!

All my eye glass wearers, rise up!

Cast your bifocals and prescription lenses off!

Remove those long-wear contacts!

Don’t let the oppressive yoke of medically augmented vision keep you captive!

Hold on…

The page is getting blurry…

Got to put my glasses on…

Now what was I saying?

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Filed under rant, Smack talking

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