Is it possible to love a phone? Yes (if it’s an iPhone 5)


The author and his betrothed.

The author and his betrothed.

I’m totally useless.

Why?

Because I’m in love with my iPhone 5.

Sure, I’m an Apple Fan.

And Apple fans are freaks.

But I have true, deep, heartfelt affection for an inanimate object.

I’ll admit I’ve always checked for Apple products.

I beheld my first iPhone with wonder.

I held it up in the sky, Simba-like, examining it from all sides as the screen glint in the sunlight.

I recall the glee I first felt starting my iPhone for the first time.

I could barely contain my excitement as the apple logo illuminated the screen, and then cede to the landing page with all those wonderful icons.

The thought of it still makes my heart flutter.

But that was a time long ago.

Subsequent iPhone releases have failed to generate any similar reaction in me.

In fact, I’ve been downright hostile towards them.

I’ve resisted the old bait-and-switch Apple is famous for, and passed upgrades to the 3G and 3GS.

When the 4 dropped, I felt that enough had changed over the course of the three years I’d owned my phone.

To be honest, I felt a little embarrassed to still be rocking a first gen.

And while the 4 was a serious device, it didn’t move me the way my first iPhone had.

So it was with much consternation that I copped the 5.

I was still jaded by the Apple bait-and-switch.

I mean really, six phones in less than five years?

But it was love at first sight.

iPhone 5

It She was tall, slim and elegant.

I felt my heart palpitate as the AT&T associate handed it her to me.

As much as I tried, I couldn’t resist it her.

I just knew these feelings were fleeting.

It’s just a phone.

Sure, Apple came up with another sleek design and raised the bat.

But it’s just a phone.

Three months later, I can’t believe that I still have the same amorous feelings for my phone.

When I first got it her, I stuck it her in an Otter.

There was no way I was going to let anything happen to it her.

Not on my watch.

My Secret Santa got me an i-Blason Power Glider external battery case (because of course, the iPhone battery life is for shit).

iBlason_PowerGlider_External_Battery_CaseAnd for the first time since I’ve owned the phone, I gazed upon it her naked, unsheathed…

I slipped it her into it’s her new case…

It’s Her shiny white face exposed…

I’m verklempt…

Talk among yourselves…

I can’t believe I’ve kept this thing of beauty hidden for so long.

Nobody put’s Baby in a corner!

I love my iPhone 5.

Is my love so wrong?

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1 Comment

Filed under iPhone, Smack talking

One response to “Is it possible to love a phone? Yes (if it’s an iPhone 5)

  1. Winston Clayton

    As you are in love with your iphone5; I can relate as I am head over heels, madly in love with Samsung Galaxy Note II; she’s EVERYTHING and more and I would say she beats your current love but hey to each his own, lol…

    Like

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