Remember how I told you I was writing a book?
The Life Digital. Atari to iPad: Growing Up In the Digital Age.
I even gave you a brief intro.
Well, I had an epiphany the other day: I’m full of shit.
My book’s title is full of shit, actually.
It’s so boring.
It is.
I bore myself just thinking about it.
And I bore myself anew every time I read it.
The Life Digital.
Where do I get off?
Atari to iPad.
Just go for the most obvious crap why dontcha?
Growing Up In A Digital Age.
Just hitting puberty Stephen?
It’s descriptive, sure.
I mean, if you read that title, you can figure out what’s between the covers.
But would you really read it?
I wouldn’t.
Well maybe I would, but I’m biased.
The point is, every time I sat down to write, I looked at the title and it gave me writer’s ED.
I just couldn’t get it up.
No amount of mental Viagra could help me.
I simply couldn’t muster the desire to write.
I was flaccid and needed a boost.
And then it came to me.
Stephen, you’re not just some dude who lived in a digital age.
You’re a walking embodiment of it.
The Don Dada, in fact!
Maybe you don’t have Bill Gates money – yet.
But you know that shit is coming.
So you better re-title your as-yet-unwritten memoirs better than The Life Digital.
Rename the book?
Eureka!
I’ll rename the book!
I’ll make that shit sexy!
Give it a title I’d wanna read.
And write.
So this weekend, I did some soul searching.
Who am I?
Tall. Check.
Handsome. Check.
Intelligent. Check.
Well endowed. Check.
But that’s besides the point.
Who am I?
Digital.
Ok. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Mobile.
That’s right, I eat cell phones for breakfast.
Tech.
Damn skippy I’m tech!
And right then, I found my voice – and my new title.
Walk with me, now, and tell me you think I’ve struck gold:
Stephen Chukumba. How I became a Digital Kung Fu Master.
Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
I know, thanks.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to read about my life?
Especially when it’s chock full of the interesting tidbits that made me – me.
Oh! The places I’ve been.
The things I’ve seen!
The dude calls himself a kung fu master!
Yes. I’m referring to myself in the third person.
For all you would-be entrepreneurs, DKFM will be a rags-to-riches story from someone still in the ‘rags’ stage.
DKFM?
It’s the acronym for Digital Kung Fu Master.
The short title.
Please don’t let the absence of riches fool you.
I am a master of this digital shit.
I’ve just been wearing the garb and trappings of a plebe as cover.
Think Shaolin monk begging among the townspeople.
Oh, he looks shabby.
But he’ll bust that ass if shit gets too hot.
Ya dig?
That’s me.
Shaolin.
I don’t wear my digital kung fu on my sleeve.
I let it seep out in my little blog posts here and there.
A few know I’m a digital black belt, but they don’t let on – do they bugs?
Anywho, that’s my new title, and I should be able to crank out some chapters.
Now that I got my mojo back!
Hiiiyyya! (said making a karate chop in the air)
Stephen Chukumba 