Remember how I told you I was writing a book?
The Life Digital. Atari to iPad: Growing Up In the Digital Age.
I even gave you a brief intro.
Well, I had an epiphany the other day: I’m full of shit.
My book’s title is full of shit, actually.
It’s so boring.
I bore myself just thinking about it.
And I bore myself anew every time I read it.
The Life Digital.
Where do I get off?
Atari to iPad.
Just go for the most obvious crap why dontcha?
Growing Up In A Digital Age.
Just hitting puberty Stephen?
It’s descriptive, sure.
I mean, if you read that title, you can figure out what’s between the covers.
But would you really read it?
Well maybe I would, but I’m biased.
The point is, every time I sat down to write, I looked at the title and it gave me writer’s ED.
I just couldn’t get it up.
No amount of mental Viagra could help me.
I simply couldn’t muster the desire to write.
I was flaccid and needed a boost.
And then it came to me.
Stephen, you’re not just some dude who lived in a digital age.
You’re a walking embodiment of it.
The Don Dada, in fact!
Maybe you don’t have Bill Gates money – yet.
But you know that shit is coming.
So you better re-title your as-yet-unwritten memoirs better than The Life Digital.
Rename the book?
I’ll rename the book!
I’ll make that shit sexy!
Give it a title I’d wanna read.
So this weekend, I did some soul searching.
Who am I?
Well endowed. Check.
But that’s besides the point.
Who am I?
Ok. Now we’re getting somewhere.
That’s right, I eat cell phones for breakfast.
Damn skippy I’m tech!
And right then, I found my voice – and my new title.
Walk with me, now, and tell me you think I’ve struck gold:
Stephen Chukumba. How I became a Digital Kung Fu Master.
Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
I know, thanks.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to read about my life?
Especially when it’s chock full of the interesting tidbits that made me – me.
Oh! The places I’ve been.
The things I’ve seen!
The dude calls himself a kung fu master!
Yes. I’m referring to myself in the third person.
For all you would-be entrepreneurs, DKFM will be a rags-to-riches story from someone still in the ‘rags’ stage.
It’s the acronym for Digital Kung Fu Master.
The short title.
Please don’t let the absence of riches fool you.
I am a master of this digital shit.
I’ve just been wearing the garb and trappings of a plebe as cover.
Think Shaolin monk begging among the townspeople.
Oh, he looks shabby.
But he’ll bust that ass if shit gets too hot.
I don’t wear my digital kung fu on my sleeve.
I let it seep out in my little blog posts here and there.
A few know I’m a digital black belt, but they don’t let on – do they bugs?
Anywho, that’s my new title, and I should be able to crank out some chapters.
Now that I got my mojo back!
Hiiiyyya! (said making a karate chop in the air)