Yeah. I said “meh.”
What’s it to ya?
WWDC 2013 was much ado about nothing.
And the centerpiece of the keynote-that-wasn’t, was unquestionably iOS 7.
While Apple wants us to believe that the latest iteration of its OS is the next best thing to sliced bread, the rest of us know better.
So effing what they’ve adopted a “flatter” look.
Who the hell cares that they’ve changed the appearance of their icons.
Big deal if you’ll be able to flip through your open applications in a vertical Cover Flow fashion.
As much as I’m loathe to admit it, most of these “innovations” already exist on Android.
Earth to Apple: just because you do something doesn’t make it great.
I mean really?
Swipe a tile to the side to get rid of it?
Side reveal to open apps or menus?
If they announced one more Android standard as a new iOS feature, I was going to puke.
Yeah, I’m going in on iOS 7.
But to be frank, the entire WWDC keynote was a snorelax.
It wasn’t as bad as Google’s I/O 13, but it wasn’t much better.
Apple’s presenters actually appeared to be alive.
Beyond that though, the entire keynote was almost indistinguishable from Google’s in its sheer underwhelmingness.
I know, underwhelmingness is not a word.
But how else to describe an event so totally devoid of life and energy?
There was no punch.
Especially when you start with a massive demo fail, when Anki Drive’s robotic car failed to….drive.
We all had to suffer through Anki founder, Boris Sofman’s plastic
grimace smile as he waited impatiently for the program to reboot.
And things just went downhill from there.
Now to hear Apple tell it, WWDC 2013 was a huge success.
They unveiled all sorts of new features and products.
The Mac Pro, new MacBook Air, blah, blah, blah.
Each new reveal was as lackluster as the last.
Oh, and by the way, just because you say “isn’t it beautiful” over and over again, doesn’t make it so.
I, for one, am totally unenthused by iOS7.
But developers get ready, Jony Ives’ technicolor nightmare is upon us.
They recently published guidelines for developing apps consistent with the iOS 7 guidelines.
From here on in, the apps you create have to comport with this new LSD induced design aesthetic.
And all I can say is meh.