I originally published this 3 years ago, but re-reading it now, I just had to share – again.
Yesterday, God decided that I needed to be brought low.
You see, I think I’m the bee’s knees.
I’ve always thought that I was a handsome dude (really ever since I got my first piece of a**), so whenever I’m out, there’s typically a peacock strut happening.
Yesterday was no exception.
I had gone into Jersey City to see my friend, and was headed home, when I stopped into the Starbucks on the corner of Park and Church street in Montclair, to pick up a Green Tea Frappuccino for wifey.
As the weather has been nice and balmy, the people were out, and there were plenty folks milling about, enjoying the pleasant weather.
I stepped out of my freshly washed ride, opened my plume and strutted into Starbucks, aware that all eyes were on me (at least in my head).
Placed my order with the female barista. Stop staring, honey, my shine is so bright you’ll hurt your eyes.
Waited for my drink next to another redbone obviously checking me out. Notice my ring finger babe. Hate to disappoint, but I’m spoken for.
Pass another biddy on the way out the door. You actin’ like you aint lookin’, but I know you peeped my steeze when I first walked in. Stop fronting!
Note: Oh my sh*t is ridiculous!
As I step out of Starbucks, there’s this hot red drop top (‘convertible’ for the urban linguistically challenged) with a fly sister perched in the passenger side, parked behind my Jeep.
Of course, I’ve got to pass IN FRONT of her ride to get to mine, and I’m abundantly aware of the fact that I will be eye candy for her as I pass.
Plume opened and magnificent. Check.
Swagger on 10. Check.
Big Pimpin’ soundtrack playing in my head. Check.
Commence strutting.
I could write out the rest of this little episode, but better you hear it from the horse’s mouth…
And that’s why I need to get over myself.
If you’ve got a story of vanity gone wrong, I’d love to hear about it.
Stephen Chukumba 
Typical Stephen, I’m laughing so hard as I can see this playing out, and I’m not mad at your confidence, but I couldn’t see the video, it’s private.
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Winston, I’ve unlocked the video. I hope you’re sitting down.
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ROTFL… Hold on, let me wipe the tears. Peacock Pimpin, ya dig!WOW, bruh you keep on doin you, a little humility never hurt.
I walk around with my swagger on high at all times. My wife calls these women who get caught the glory that is my glow. The “Sean-ettes” or in your case the “Steve-ettes” LOL…
The bottom is that its nice that you recognize and respect the kharma of it. But I say keep on doin what feels good for ya.
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@4V, thanks for the continued support. You know I was flying high (on account of the extended feathers) before being brought down low (on account of flying too close to the sun). I have no choice but to be me (half peacock, half fool), so I’m just going to keep doing my thing (and avoiding hot drinks)!
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Hilarious, I’m dying over here.
However, I am proud for you for being able to recognize the error of your ways. Therein shows humility.
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@Stacy, I think it was my burning ass that helped me realize my shortcomings. An ass swimming in a HOT drink will do that.
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LMAOOOO smh
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My face HURTS from laughing so hard! You are a NUT!!!!!
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@Alma, my ego was so out of control, I had to share. Now all of you who have read this post can collectively intervene when I start to lose myself in vanity.
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