I was originally going to publish a scathing expose on online dating as an ode to Valentines Day.
I’ve listened to the dating woes of numerous friends and colleagues, and decided that enough was enough.
I’d get to the bottom of this whole online dating debacle myself, exposing it’s putrid underbelly and convincing online daters that good old fashion face-to-face meeting/dating was the way to go.
I was going to reveal online dating as the meat market it is, fraught with fake profiles and bullshit ‘compatibility’ criteria, to be avoided at all costs.
In fact, I’d created a bogus account on OkCupid and was prepared to blast online dating as a farce for suckers, when I came across an article on OkayPlayer that gave me pause.
Apparently for the next 25 hours (fewer than that at this point), De La Soul is making their entire album collection available for download – for free!
That’s right – FREE.
I could go on, but you get the point.
Fuck online dating.
De. La. Soul. Free.
I’m married. I could give a fuck about the dating woes of a bunch of hags.
If you’re not a fan of De La Soul, and the significance of this coup is lost on you, sick a duck and stop reading.
If, however, you’re a fan of one of the most underrated hip hop trios of all time, then read on.
To be down all you’ve got to do is visit De La Soul’s website, complete the form and verify your email address.
After that, they’ll send you the albums you’ve requested.
I’m soooo excited that I’ve been checking my inbox compulsively every few minutes.
As I was writing this, I got my email with the link to the albums!
They’re using DropBox as their fulfillment engine and – surprise, surprise – theres too much traffic and they’ve temporarily disabled the links.
I’ve been clicking them every so often to see if they’ve re-upped the links, but no such luck.
Rest assured, when I get my joints, I’ll let you know.
Oh, and I will (eventually) post my in-depth investigation of online dating.
But in a nutshell:
- Online dating is not for everyone, only the desperate and lonely.
- If you’re ugly, don’t even bother, because 9 times out of 10, only cute girls/guys get any play.
- If you’re a girl, good luck on finding someone who isn’t trying to bang you and bounce.
- If you’re a dude, you’re going to be matched with 90% kennel, 5% respectable, 5% dimes.
- If you’re not a dime yourself, expect radio silence from any other dime.
Now, there are exceptions to every rule, but you probably fall in the ‘rule’ category, so take heed.
Happy Valentines Day!
UPDATE: I just got my downloads!