I regularly find myself giving out sage advice to folks.
Of course my advice is sage, why else would
people seek me out I offer it unsolicited?
Anywho, the advice I give ranges widely from person to person.
Sometimes its about technology, sometimes business, sometimes branding.
But usually, its about helping folks to overcome whatever obstacles they face in their path to success – however “success” is defined.
“Stephen, how can I get my boss to give me more money?”
“Stephen, I don’t feel appreciated at my job. What should I do?”
“Stephen, why do I keep getting passed over for promotions?”
“Stephen, can you show me how to get more followers on Twitter?”
“Stephen, what if no one reads my blog?”
I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
And while the individuals and circumstances they find themselves in may change, there is one constant theme: self confidence.
I find that people are often unaware of their self-worth, and as a result constantly look to external sources for validation.
And that, my friends, is what I call “The Mind Fuck.”
The Mind Fuck is when the opinion of others matters more to you than your own (opinion).
You fuck yourself royally, when you’re incapable of achieving a sense of self-worth in the absence of the support of others.
But, it’s not your fault – well not totally your fault.
I’ll tell you why.
Since we were children, we’ve been programmed to seek the approval of others.
It started with our parents.
Oh how they cooed when we spoke our first word, ate solids for the first time, crawled, then walked, made caca on the potty.
Our formative years were spent being trained like puppies to live in civilized society.
Such that today, Like Pavlov’s dog, we still salivate for those doggy biscuits of approval.
With that kind of insidious brainwashing, it’s understandable why we fall into the trap of giving two shits about other people’s opinions.
What are we as humans, if not social creatures?
But that’s the rub.
Because we are all social creatures, we crave that approval, the “likes” and “follows,” shares and retweets, that say, “you are somebody” and (unfortunately) define many of our current social interactions.
And when we don’t get it, for whatever reason, many of us take it as a blow, a slight, a diminishment of who we are.
That’s easy: we’ve never cultivated our Inner Rockstar.
What’s an “Inner Rockstar”?
The Inner Rockstar is that thing that makes us unique.
It’s that special characteristic that sets us apart from the rest of the world.
It’s that thing that we possess, that defines us.
Maybe you’re a whiz with PowerPoint.
Or can automatically calculate the ROI for every dollar spent by your firm.
Perhaps you’ve revamped your company’s non-existent marketing strategy.
You might be able to whistle the Stars Spangled Banner with your nose.
Yes. Whistling through your nose is awesome.
Your Inner Rockstar is the part of you that is awesome, regardless of who else knows it.
“Okay Stephen, I’m a rockstar to myself. So what?”
What makes a rockstar a rockstar?
They let everyone know they’re a rockstar.
They may not rock a t-shirt emblazoned with “I Am A Rockstar” on it.
Although they should – it would make them easier to identify.
But they wear their rockstar status openly.
Think about it.
Tony Robbins. Wayne Dyer. Steve Jobs. Corey Booker. Mick Jagger.
What do all these people have in common?
Confidence and swagger.
They way they hold themselves out to the rest of the world.
The presence they command when they walk into a room.
It’s their confidence.
Plain and simple.
Confidence makes you a rockstar.
Don’t believe me? Try this little experiment.
The next time you’re with a group of people, offer up a fact about something obscure.
For example, did you know that Google Glass was actually conceived by the 16th century inventor Hans Lippershey, who created the telescope? He was the first person to conceptualize images projected on (or through) thin panes of glass. Google owes their innovation to Hans.
This is not true.
Hans Lippershey did invent the telescope, but didn’t conceptualize a wearable computer.
But if you present this information with confidence and authority, stating it as fact, 9 out of 10 people will believe you, without pause.
It is because Hans Lippershey actually developed a Google Glass concept in 1570?
No. It’s because of your delivery.
You sell it and they’ll buy it, hook, line and sinker.
Imagine, now, that you do everything with that same level of confidence.
Especially things that you’re good at.
I’m certain that you’ll start to realize that you’ve got some mojo.
To be clear, being confident and good at something will not necessarily make you a rockstar in the eyes of the public at large.
But if you can manage to convince yourself that you’re a rockstar, you’re one step closer to convincing others of the same thing.
Now get out there and rock out!