Five signs that you’re a Fanboy

Have you seen this person? Looked in the mirror lately?

Have you seen this person? Looked in the mirror lately?

With the release of the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, the inevitable phone wars have begun afresh.

Don’t act like you don’t know what the phone wars are.

The ongoing comparisons between Apple and Samsung or iOS versus Android.

Invariably, these little skirmishes arise whenever Apple drops a new product (and never the other way around).

But that’s beside the point.

Or is it?  Hmmmm….

Anywho, every so often users on both sides take to the interwebs to pronounce their allegiance to (or disdain for) one side or the other.

Your’s truly is no exception.

I’ve been known to malign an Android owner or two in my day.

No. I don’t own stock in Apple, and no Samsung owner ever kicked my dog (I don’t even own a dog).

“So why the hostility?” you ask.

Well, that’s easy.

Usually, I’ve got a cogent argument supporting my pro-Apple stance.

Sometimes, not so much.

My blind allegiance is often questioned, and I’ve always assumed it was because Apple simply made a better product.

But with the release of the iPhone 6, which is really Apple’s version of the larger Samsung family of devices, the questions of my blind allegiance are….well…valid?

So I’ve done a little introspection and I think I’ve got it.

I’m a fanboy.

Like millions of others, when it comes to anything Apple, I go balls to the wall.

I readily admit my fandom, but others can’t seem to self-identify (as I have).

So today, I’m going to share with you the top five signs that you too, are a fanboy.

1. You wait in line the day a new device drops.

More accurately, you camp out for days leading up to the release of a new device.

Only true fanboys place such importance to being the first ones to own a device that they’re willing to risk their lives, brave poor weather, take time away from the families or jobs to sit on a line and wait.

Will they win a prize?

Receive an award?

Be recognized for their achievement?

No. No. And no.

So why do they do it?

For the visceral feeling they get holding a brand spanking new device that no one else (yet) has. That’s why.

Oh. And they’re fanboys.


Now y’all know you’re supposed to be at work! WTF?!

2. You take pro- (or anti-) device claims at face value.

If anything that Apple (or Google) publishes in anticipation of a release gives you wood and you regurgitate the features and capabilities as fact, sight unseen, you’re a fanboy.

So what you’re getting all your information from the rumor mill?

If Apple says it, it must be true. Right?

town crier

3. You take criticism of your device personally.

Everyone knows that Apple’s battery life is notoriously horrible. Or that Android devices routinely freeze, crash and drop calls.

But if you’re a fanboy, and someone utters a word against your favored device, all you hear are fighting words – and you’re literally ready to fight.

I remember when the Samsung Galaxy GS3 dropped.

Several of my so-called friends copped it and were all ga-ga over it.

I had one of the first GS3s in my office and had a chance to take it for a test drive.

Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed.

I posted a blog with my two cents, and was immediately set upon for posting negative reviews.

I had to unfriend a few folks after that.


Don’t know why the illustrator decided to cast the Android as the Jedi. Android is definitely the dark side of the force. Hello?

4. You’ve never owned the competing device.

As a result, you’re totally ignorant about what an iOS device or Android can or can’t do.

It’s hard to offer any legitimate critique of a competing device if you’ve never owned one.

But that doesn’t keep fanboys from making far-reaching pronouncements about the inadequacies of the opposition.

Wouldn't you rather hate in ignorance than admire with full information?

Wouldn’t you rather hate in ignorance than admire with full information?

5. You still rock Blackberry.

There is no more profound evidence to the existence of a true fanboy, than Blackberry owners.

Despite the obsolescence (or near obsolescence – they’re clearly on life support) of Blackberry devices for several years now, there are still legions that swear by these blocky, keyboard bearing pieces of antiquity.

blackberry passport

Will the Blackberry Passport help to revive the dying brand? Not likely. But we have a new device to make fun of!

Now if you have any doubt whether or not you’re a fanboy, ask yourself, “When was the last time you owned <input name of device you don’t currently own here>?”

If you can’t remember, you’re a fanboy.


Filed under advocacy, digital advocacy, iPhone, mobile

2 responses to “Five signs that you’re a Fanboy

  1. I’m a little lost now. I’d consider myself an Apple fanboy even though I’ve never done any of those things. I would however like to state, the reason I’m a fanboy is not because it’s all ooh and ahh just because it’s name brand. It’s simply practicality. The first time I had used an Android device, it crashed, lagged, sputtered, spoke, cried. Literally.. it went “EEEEEE” in a high pitch scream. A lot like R2D2 falling off a cliff.

    Apple products have always “Just Worked”(tm) for me. Sure, I’ve experienced issues. Some lags here and there. Every once in a while (every few months) I’ll need to hard reset. But the software alone makes Apple devices unparalleled. And I don’t need third party apps to enable these features either.

    Airdrop, Airplay, iCloud Sync, Find my phone, Find my friends, IMEI to apple account lock (a stolen device won’t get very far ;), now the promising Handoff and Continuity. Oh, and I’ve been texting and calling people right from my Macbook + iPad while my phone is charging across the room.

    You Android fans can say “oh my device can do all that”. Oh really, why is it that I get so many calls from friends or family asking me if they can recover a stolen device? Oh, Google didn’t enable that feature/service for you by default? You didn’t install the app? What a shame… Poof. It’s gone. What’s that you say? You didn’t have cloud backups enabled either? Oh jeez. I’m sorry to tell you, all your sensitive data is gone too. Those precious pics and contacts are gone. You’ll have to start over.

    Yes, I said I’m a fanboy. You can call me a sheep. But look who’s device has more hacks, viruses, security exploits, and third party back doors than anyone else’s.

    I work with these devices daily and I use them 24.7. I can honestly say it’s built like a rock. Minus the touted Gorilla Glass, that cracked within days of owning the iPhone 5. I don’t care about your screen size that looks like your holding a television up to your face. I have another device for playing games and media (iPad). When I need it, it’s reliable. I can depend on it working.

    I’ve got 4 Windows 8 PC’s right next to me that need fixed due Windows updated crashes, viruses and spyware, and just plain video card failure. I haven’t even had ONE macbook come through my doors. And I have plenty of friends that have them. Could be because of Apple’s awesome insurance policy, or the even more promising fact that it doesn’t break that often.

    Rant over.. Take your pick.. Think about your choice the next time your forced to buy a new device because it’s outdated or just broken. Mac’s will outlive their opponents with a 10-fold lifespan. It’s nice price tag is because you don’t have to buy another in 3 years time. It ages very well. The additional software you get with a Mac. The fact you don’t need Firewalls and Virus scan solutions (that cost money and eat up precious resources like CPU cycles and Memory). Those are the reasons you will buy a Mac


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