Tag Archives: Apple

Apple, why is it so hard to love you?

A few months ago, when my iPhone Xs Max arrived, I was so excited, I could barely contain myself.

I immediately set to transferring my content from my old X to the new Xs Max.

Transferring was a breeze and I was struck by how far we’d come from the old days of having to manually back up your phone, by physically connecting your phone to computer to synchronize your new device through iTunes.

Although I hit a minor snafu requiring technical support, the resolution was painless and instantaneous.

In hindsight, that minor snafu was a portent of things to come.

Let me explain.

I’m typically not a first mover when it comes to anything Apple.

Usually, I’ll wait about a month before copping the latest device.

I let others suffer through Apple’s missteps (and issue fixes and updates) before stepping into the breach.

I probably would have done the same thing this time, but for Verizon offering to swap my old phone and upgrading me to the Xs Max.

But now I had it, was past the aforementioned snafu, and was getting used to my latest acquisition.

The Xs Max has a bunch of cool features, to be sure.

My favorite I found completely by accident when I was putting my Mous case on the phone.

It’s the battery indicator.

Touch the battery icon on the phone and a larger icon shows up on the center of screen showing you how much battery you’ve got left.

But that was just a gateway find.

Touch any icon on the top of the screen and a larger version of that icon appears.

The actual battery life is probably my second favorite thing about the Max.

Unlike Apple’s previous claims that the battery life of their <insert version of iPhone here> had <insert percentage here> more battery life than previous versions, the claim with the Xs Max actually bears out.

There are a host of other features that make the Xs Max one of the best iPhone releases to date.

But then, there are the things that make me want to smash the phone with a hammer.

Without fail, you can always count on Apple to muck things up.

Like when they got rid of the battery percentage indicator.

Or eliminated the home button.

How about losing the headphone jack?

As excited I was for the Xs Max, I knew – I just knew there was going to be a moment when I would be like “WTF Apple?”

My “WTF?” moment came the first time I tried to attach a picture to a text message.

Ordinarily, when you’re typing a message and want to add a picture, you hit the camera icon next to the text input field and the picture tray slides up from the bottom.

From there, you can simply snap a photo or select from your recents.

If the image you’re looking for isn’t on that tray, you can expand your search by opening your photo library in a new window.

The convenience of having your recent photos pop up in that tray can’t be overstated.

But, true to form, Apple has eliminated that convenience.

Now, instead of having a tray slide up from the bottom of your screen with your recent photos, selecting the camera icon opens up the friggin’ camera!

To get to your recent photos, you’ve got to click the media icon on the top left of the screen, which then opens up your media library.

Then, you can select a recent photo or open up your entire media library.

And this is where Apple has outdone themselves.

Before, all you did was select the image you wanted to use and it would be added to your message.

With the new Xs Max, selecting the image is just that – selecting the image.

Pick an image and the blue check box shows up and then – nothing.

You’re not taken back to your message to continue typing or to send your message.

You’re stuck on the screen.

The first time I did it, I felt like Ben Stiller in Zoolander, trying to get the files out of the computer.

There was no obvious way to get back to my text message.

There was no little blue arrow in the footer to indicate that I was uploading an image.

In fact, there was no footer at all.

There was nothing on the screen that seemed in any way helpful – besides the “x” in the corner – which said to me that I’d be canceling the addition of my selected picture to my text message.

At a loss, I clicked the “x” assuming it would send me back to he previous screen where I could retry my attempt to attach a picture.

Wouldn’t you know that my picture was there?

This convoluted process is now how you’re forced to add pictures to a text message.

Really Apple.

I get the desire to thrill and delight users with new features, but why, for the love of god, don’t you leave the things that work perfectly fine, alone?

I could go on about all the other infuriating things about the Xs Max, but why? It’s not like Apple actually pays attention to its users and makes changes in a timely fashion.

Or, more appropriately, they know when they’ve fucked something up. They just don’t care enough to fix it.

There’s another version of the phone on the horizon for me to love – and hate.

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Filed under iPhone, opinion, rant

72 hours with the iPhone 7. A love story.

iphone-7

Last week, I picked up my new iPhone 7 from the job and immediately got to playing with it.

I’d watched the Apple announcement a few weeks prior and was interested to see whether the actual product lived up to they hype.

My initial response was disappointment.

I’d ordered the Black phone. Not Jet Black. Just Black.

Sitting before me, however, was the 256GB Jet Black 7 Plus.

Ummm…I ordered black.

I wasn’t interested in sporting the shiny patent leather version.

I wanted the understated matte.

But due to some administrative oversight, I now owned the much showier version.

I wasn’t happy about it.

Beyond the ostentatious nature of shiny things, from a purely practical perspective, it’s too slippery.

I can’t tell you how many times the bloody thing slipped out of my mitts.

And all that shininess makes it hard to tell the front from the back.

At first glance, they’re virtually indistinguishable.

They’re both maaaaad shiny.

If you miss the camera or Apple logo, as I often did, you don’t realize that you’re looking at the back of the phone until you can’t find the home button.

The headphone jack is another conundrum.

Listening to music and charging your phone at the same time?

Uh-uh. That’s not happening anymore.

On the positive note, apps on the 7 are  much faster.

With the exception of my work mail in the Mail app,  I’ve had no real problems.

And iOS 10 is made for the 7.

Apple introduced a series of subtle gestures and button presses that let you to navigate seamlessly.

I really dig being able to immediately wake my phone to the app I was using simply through a long press of the home button.

You don’t actually ‘click’ through.

You just press and hold the home button past the Touch ID and viola!

The last app or screen you were in appears.

Just rises into view.

Magnificent.

I’m no longer forced to run the gauntlet to get to my shit.

Just gently hold the home button and my app (or whatever) is literally at my fingertips.

You know what?

I was fronting earlier with that shiny comment.

I love it.

I’ve been enamored with it since I got it.

This joint is so sleek and beautiful, I haven’t even put it in a case.

Like I do ALL my new phones.

I have cracked enough sapphire screens to know better.

But I can’t help it.

I stare at it.

Hold it lovingly in my hand.

Marvel at its beeps, chirps and buzzing tactile caress.

If you’re not a fanboy, like I am, why I’m so transfixed will escape you.

If you’re a true Apple aficionado, you know what I’m talkumbout.

The iPhone 7 is beautiful.

I don’t know how many of you have even gotten your pre-orders or copped your phone from a store.

But when you do, I’m sure you will enjoy it as much as I do.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

Me? I’m in love.

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Filed under iPhone, mobile

Apple vs FBI. Why the outcome matters.

pandoras-iphone-201922

Unless you live under a rock or are completely off the grid, you’ve seen the multiple stories about the ongoing battle between Apple and the FBI.

This battle is being waged by both parties on two fronts: in court and in the court of public opinion.

For most people, it’s an interesting story and nothing else.

For some, its a matter of national security, and Apple needs to help the FBI get into the phone so that we can stop terrorists.

Others think that opening a ‘back door’ to the Apple’s iPhone security protocol would set a dangerous precedent, forever compromising our civil liberties.

Regardless of what side you come down on – disinterest, the government or Apple – it’s important that you pay attention because the ramifications will be far-reaching.

As a general rule, people are apathetic.

If it doesn’t affect them you who gives a fuck. Right?

They’re not trying to get into my phone, so what’s the big deal?

If you’re an Android user, you care even less.

This is about Apple. Who cares what Tim Cook and those Apple fan boys think?

If the order says you’re supposed to help the FBI disable the auto erase function of the pass code lock (currently preventing them from utilizing a brute force approach to figuring out the phone’s pass code) then write the frigging code and be done with it.

If you’re a flag-flying patriot, your interests turn on Apple’s duty to ‘Murica.

Apple needs to do it’s American duty and protect it’s citizens.

Open the damn phone and let’s excoriate the terrorist cancer from society.

But if you’re an Apple user, concerned citizen or privacy advocate, you understand the true implications of Apple complying with this order.

No one would disagree that stopping terrorism is a valid reason for assisting the government with any inquiry involving a suspected terrorist’s mobile device.

But at what point does assisting the government end and infringing upon civil liberties begin?

In this instance, the government wants Apple to do something unprecedented: write code to obfuscate the utility of the current security protocols Apple has in place to protect individual users of it’s products.

While the order is written to narrowly apply to one device, we all know that once the FBI has access to a tool that creates a back door to users’ devices –  the FBI has access to a tool that creates a back door to users’ devices.

Through high profile exposes from investigative journalists, Wikileaks and various former government whistle blowers, we know that the government frequently oversteps legal boundaries in pursuit of it’s objectives.

NSA’s data collection activities, widespread eavesdropping on citizens, clandestine drone strikes on Americans – I could go on and on -prove unequivocally that we can’t necessarily trust what we’re told about the government’s stated intentions.

More importantly, (true to form) the government has allegedly already been working on methods to break the encryption technology that companies like Apple and Google have developed in light of the Wikileaks scandal.

Whether or not it would be easier if Apple ‘helped’ the government, is immaterial.

What matters more is that a company shouldn’t be forced to compromise the security measures it’s developed, when other less drastic alternatives exist.

We already live in a time where virtually everything we do is monitored, whether we know (or consent to) it or not.

The few illusions we have of privacy are important, especially as data collection assails us from all directions, from our computers, to our mobile devices, to our new found obsession with wearables.

The advent of IoT means that even more data will be collected of our every digital interaction.

If the courts do not reverse their order and if Apple is unsuccessful in their appeal, the precedent could extend to the maker of any data collection device being forced to add ‘back doors’ to circumvent security protocols.

And that is what is truly at stake.

It’s one thing to be asked to turn over data pursuant to a properly obtained subpoena.

Its quite another to be asked to expend development resources of a private company to assist the government to breach the security protocols of an individual’s device.

If the back door was already there, no problem.

But to be forced to create the back door, that’s an entirely different creature altogether.

How this ultimately plays out remains to be seen.

Will Apple capitulate to the government’s request (kicking and screaming as many pundits anticipate) or not? Who knows?

I, for one, hope not.

Because once Pandora’s box has been opened, you can’t undo that.

I’m sure many will disagree with me and that’s fine.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

One final thought, if you’re interested in following the debate on social media, you can using the hashtag #applevsfbi

 

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Filed under advocacy, iPhone, mobile

What’s a CD? Top 10 signs you’re dealing with a digital native.

digital native jokes

I recently took a train ride with David Polinchock (@polinchock), a technologist I had met over decade ago through James Andrews (@keyinfluencer) when I was still in private practice.

David was part of the Entertainment Technology Center, a division of Carnegie Mellon’s research arm that sought to leverage academic brain power with business.

Back then, we launched a sponsored research project to develop the DigiBoxx, a self-serve kiosk for music, where you could refill your iPod or MP3 device with music on the go.

This was 2003 (or ’04) long before the arrival of multi-gig devices capable of storing buttloads of music.

And while we didn’t have license the first to address all those pesky copyright issues, we did develop a working POC and that was a start.

Fast forward to 2015, and David and I are still pushing the envelope.

No longer the bright-eyed optimists, we chatted nonetheless about how far technology had come and what we saw on the horizon.

When the conversation turned to our kids, he talked about his daughter’s Digital Natives presentation at SXSW.

Come again? Say what?

Apparently, he had pitched SXSW to stop talking to old fogie stogies like us about technology and have actual digital natives – who only know the world of gadgets  speak from their unique perspective.

I was simultaneously offended, envious, and intrigued.

Who the fuck are you calling old?

I love SXSW. Why can’t I go?

Why aren’t my kids presenting at SXSW?

When I finally worked through my mixed emotions, I tuned back in to hear him describe a world view he gained listening to his daughter and her co-presenter.

Oh right…..some 12 or 13 year old child prodigy who builds his own computers co-presenter.

This is the era of Digital Natives.

Talking to David made me think about how technologically different the world is for today’s youth than it was for any other generation.

We’re not so far removed from floppy discs, but kids today only know USBs.

Their Boost mobile starter phones have more computing power today than desktop computers in most financial institutions a decade ago.

But rather than drone on endlessly about what digital natives are and are not, I figured I’d grace you with one of my top ten lists.

Here are the top ten signs that you’re dealing with a digital native.

1. They’ve never bought a CD. It’s not that they’ve never purchased music. They just don’t need all the bells and whistles of album jackets, jewel cases and shrink wrap. Long gone are the days where you rushed to the store to cop an vinyl album. Then went 8 tracks. Then cassettes. CDs are media evolution’s latest victim. Digital natives get their media the minute it comes out – online. And if they do buy it, it’ll be on iTunes.

2. Netflix is their Blockbuster. Remember rushing to Blockbuster to rent the latest hit movies on DVD? Digital natives don’t. In fact, they probably don’t even know what a Blockbuster is. Digital natives dial up their movies on Netflix or Hulu or HBO Go. Maybe they hit a Redbox (to give their parents that nostalgic home movie watching experience). But watching movies at home (or on the go) is a digital streaming experience.

blockbuster-closing-041210-webjpg-7775ba2fdd8fda15

Good riddance to you sir!

3. Screens are keyboards. Digital natives know only the world of touchscreen inputs devices. They tap not type. They text 50 wpm using just their thumbs. When I was in high school, I took a typing/word processing class. The target was 50 words per minute, and you were considered expert if you typed above that. Today, the screen on a mobile device is the equivalent of a keyboard and digital natives feel right at home typing – I mean tapping – away on their screens.

4. They’re OS agnostic. Digital natives are equally versed in iOS and Android. Unlike the old guard, they take no sides and have allegiance to the device that meets their needs in the moment. Today it’s more about utility than brand. If it works right, they’ll buy it. Brand be damned! Hence competition between device makers remains fierce.

5. Google is a dictionary. Digital natives Google everything. When I was a kid a dictionary and the encyclopedia were how I figured things out. Didn’t know how to spell a word or it’s definition? I looked it up. Want to know the capital of Kazakhstan? I looked it up – it’s Astana – BTW. Digital natives simply Google it. Can’t spell? No worries, Google will offer you the correctly spelled word as an option.

6. Apple radio station. ITunes is dead. Today, your iPhone has Music. No more iTunes. Digital natives live in a Beats Music+Apple world – which you get free for 30 days BTW. Pandora, Spotify, SoundCloud, MixCloud, and countless digital radio stations have made it such that terrestrial radio stations hold low sway over digital natives, who configure and share their own playlists and find artists through underground videos on the interwebs.

apple-music

7. Emoji is a language. When my kids got their mobile phones, virtually every text message included emojis. Not just one mind you, but streams of smiley faces, tear streaked to connote laughter, thumbs down to express disagreement – you get the picture. Emojis are in such high demand with digital natives that whole marketplaces developed for Facebook and Apple who both saw fit to add a bunch more to their keyboards.

emojis

8. Everything swipes. Tinder, Fruit Ninja, Zillow, everyone uses swipe navigation to streamline the digital natives’ user experience. Swipe navigation makes using mobile devices seamless allowing them to engage content in increasingly sophisticated ways. And as 3D technology and AR move content off screens into 4D space, digital natives are primed to creatively leverage these applications.

9. Gaming as a social activity. If you’re a parent, you want your kids outside getting exercise, socializing and interacting with other kids. For digital natives, gaming is social. Most gaming systems (and virtually all computer games) let you play against other gamers virtually. And with immersive VR worlds and Google Cardboard, you can still be outside inside.

10. Multi-taking is the norm. Digital natives are comfortable using multiple screens simultaneously. Measuring how many screens a viewer uses while watching a program is a thing marketers track and want to know because digital natives rock multiple devices as matter of course. This always on always accessible characteristic defines digital natives.

digital multi-tasking

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Filed under digital advocacy, technology

Resistance is futile. Confessions of an Apple Watch owner.

Stephen's Apple Watch

A few days ago, I got the email I’d been waiting for months to receive.

It said, “your apple watch has arrived.”

I was in Bermuda at the time, installing a music library in Marcus Samuelsson’s eponymous restaurant, Marcus‘ at the Fairmont Hamilton Princess, so my glee was tempered by distance.

But over the next few days, I fantasized non-stop about how amazing my life was about to become.

My watch and I were about to become the best of friends.

I knew, I just knew, that my Apple Watch was a game changer and my life was going to be infinitely richer as a result.

But as I headed into Manhattan on a dreary Monday morning, I started to have misgivings.

Would I become one of those people constantly checking their wrist, desperate to see the source of the latest ping or buzz?

Was I trading up to yet another useless gadget full of sound and fury, yet signifying nothing?

My Shakespeare folks will appreciate that.

I digress.

We’re already a tethered society.

We can’t seem to put our phones down.

Every ten seconds we’re reading our emails, responding to texts, checking Facebook or engaged in some other inane activity involving a mobile device.

And that’s with a device we can put down.

What happens with that device is inextricably tied to our person?

What then?

I can’t help but think of the Borg.

The cybernetic beings from the Delta Quadrant that assimilated their victims, making them part of a collective or hive mind.

You know, the big cube thing from Star Trek, The Next Generation.

the-borg

Each cyborg (hence “Borg”) was a undifferentiated part of the whole, sharing their thoughts and sensory input with them.

When you were captured by the Borg, they didn’t kill you.

Mechanical components were added to your anatomy, stripping you of your humanity and making you a part of the collective.

Hence “assimilated.”

I know I’m probably being dramatic, but this thought keeps popping into my head: “Resistance is futile.You will be assimilated.”

I mean, sure, the Apple Watch can collect data on its wearer.

And it can share that data with Apple or the app developer, which then knows information about the wearer, but that’s not so bad. Is it?

Wait a minute…

Am I being assimilated?

Is resistance futile?

Once I put on the watch, is there no turning back?

Only time will tell.

Four days in, and I’m fighting the good fight.

I do not automatically look at my wrist whenever a haptic alert beckons.

I shall not fall prey to your Siren song Apple Watch! Damn you to hell!

But resist as I may, I can already feel the endorphin rush whenever my wrist buzzes.

Each vibration draws me further down the rabbit hole.

And once I glance at her, even for a moment, I’m infatuated.

“Her?” It’s a fucking watch! WTF is the matter with me?!!

I mean really. I’ve only really checked out a few functions.

Like the activity monitor, which I clowned, is actually quite useful.

activity monitor

After plugging in your gender, age, height and weight, you can set daily fitness goals, and the watch will prompt you to stand, or exercise in order to keep you on track.

Yesterday, I hit my fitness goal of burning 720 calories. I actually burned 932 by walking 7.5 miles, exercising for 75 minutes and standing for sixty seconds once every hour for twelve hours.

I’m pretty awesome, says my watch.

Or the Remote app, which lets you control your other iOS devices when you’re on the same wi-fi network.

Last night, I got in four episodes of Game of Thrones on HBO Go on Apple TV, all controlled through my handy dandy Apple Watch.

game-of-thrones-hbo-go

Or Chat, which lets you read and respond to text messages right from your wrist.

I’ve had numerous chat conversations without typing a single character.

I just speak into my watch, Dick Tracy style, and my words magically appear on the screen.

And I can choose to send my voice memo or the text equivalent.

dick-tracy

I can even send emojis to spice things up a bit.

Wait…have I already been assimilated?

Nah!

Just taking it for a test drive so that I can tell all of you.

Yeah. That’s the ticket!

Anywho, I have not (yet) been assimilated, although I suspect it’s not far off….

Damn Apple!

Haven’t had enough of my ramblings? Check out my video review of the Apple Watch below!

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Filed under Apple Watch, iPhone

Godsend or Devil’s spawn? Five pros and cons of the Apple Watch.

apple watchApple just held one of its infamous events, where they unveiled the Apple Watch and the newly redesigned MacBook.

And while folks (including your’s truly) were thoroughly impressed with all the updates to the Mac: slimmer profile, lightweight, no fan, etc., the clear, hands down star of the show was the Apple Watch.

Not since the release of the original iPhone has there been this much hype over a device.

Nearly every day, dozens (if not hundreds) of articles and blog posts have been devoted to speculating what types of apps are going to be preloaded on the device, it’s functionality and features.

The authors of these pieces fall squarely on one side of the debate or the other.

The Apple Watch is either a godsend or the spawn of Satan.

Let’s examine the five most telling assessments of the Apple Watch and decide for ourselves, shall we?

1. The Apple Watch will make us healthier.

giphy

Like FitBit, Nike+ FuelBand and Jawbone, the Apple Watch enables it’s wearer to monitor and track their fitness activity. Whether you’re walking or running, climbing stairs or taking your dog for a walk, the Apple Watch lets you track all your fitness activities. Apps integrating Apple’s Healthkit, allow you to track things like weight, BMI and biometric readings. With haptic responses and wireless syncing with your iPhone, the Apple Watch promises to be both your fitness diary and motivator, keeping you on track.

2. The Apple Watch will permanently shackle us to our jobs.

Apple Watch handcuffs

The thing about wearables is that they’re wearable. So if you’ve got a device that’s constantly updating your emails, your meetings, your text messages, and pinging you with alerts and reminders, the argument goes that you’re always going to be ‘on.’ No longer will you be able to say, “I left my phone at my desk or in my purse,” because that watch on your wrist doesn’t come off.

3. The Apple Watch will make us more productive.

flash

Apps like OfficeTime offer the promise of increased productivity, by allowing you to tap your watch at the beginning and end of every activity, and by the end of the day, week, month, provide an accurate record of what exactly you spend your time doing. Other apps, like Evernote, are porting their functionality to the Apple Watch, allowing users to access a slimmed down version of the app from their wrist.

4.  The Apple Watch is a distraction.

smartwatchdriver

We’re already slaves to our mobile devices, staring at them every five minutes, phantom buzzing in our pockets, on a constant search for power sources to keep precious life flowing into their silicon innards. But with a phone, it’s often tucked away, in a case, pocket, or purse, and therefore not as much of a distraction. You can leave it at your desk and walk away, put it down or turn it off and Viola! problem solved. The Apple Watch, as a wearable, will not be discretely tucked away, but a constant vibrating, beeping, buzzing distraction on your wrist, always within eyeshot.

5. The Apple Watch is an elegant piece of design.

apple-watch-paris

Few can debate that the Apple Watch is a thing to behold. Like Rolex, Chopard or Breitling, the Apple Watch is design, if nothing else. I’m pretty sure I got a woody the first time I saw it. But I’m a fanboy, what would you expect? If you want decide to buy the Apple Watch because it looks good, who could fault you? No one – but the haters of course, and we’ll forgive their pettiness, won’t we.

If you want to track your steps in a sleek, stylish way, the Apple Watch is for you. If you want to be able to check your alerts, respond to texts, read emails without having to pull out your phone, the Apple Watch is for you. If you’re and early adopter simply trying to stay up on the latest and greatest technology out, the Apple Watch is for you.

At the end of the day, the Apple Watch is just a watch. It’s not even really a watch because you’ve got to pair it with a phone, which means that it’s functionality can only truly be experienced when connected to another bigger, less inconspicuous device.

But shortcomings aside, like the FitBits, Jawbones and Nike+ FuelBands before it, the Apple Watch adds another layer of utility for folks seeking that extra edge.

 

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Filed under advocacy, digital advocacy, mobile

Five signs that you’re a Fanboy

Have you seen this person? Looked in the mirror lately?

Have you seen this person? Looked in the mirror lately?

With the release of the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, the inevitable phone wars have begun afresh.

Don’t act like you don’t know what the phone wars are.

The ongoing comparisons between Apple and Samsung or iOS versus Android.

Invariably, these little skirmishes arise whenever Apple drops a new product (and never the other way around).

But that’s beside the point.

Or is it?  Hmmmm….

Anywho, every so often users on both sides take to the interwebs to pronounce their allegiance to (or disdain for) one side or the other.

Your’s truly is no exception.

I’ve been known to malign an Android owner or two in my day.

No. I don’t own stock in Apple, and no Samsung owner ever kicked my dog (I don’t even own a dog).

“So why the hostility?” you ask.

Well, that’s easy.

Usually, I’ve got a cogent argument supporting my pro-Apple stance.

Sometimes, not so much.

My blind allegiance is often questioned, and I’ve always assumed it was because Apple simply made a better product.

But with the release of the iPhone 6, which is really Apple’s version of the larger Samsung family of devices, the questions of my blind allegiance are….well…valid?

So I’ve done a little introspection and I think I’ve got it.

I’m a fanboy.

Like millions of others, when it comes to anything Apple, I go balls to the wall.

I readily admit my fandom, but others can’t seem to self-identify (as I have).

So today, I’m going to share with you the top five signs that you too, are a fanboy.

1. You wait in line the day a new device drops.

More accurately, you camp out for days leading up to the release of a new device.

Only true fanboys place such importance to being the first ones to own a device that they’re willing to risk their lives, brave poor weather, take time away from the families or jobs to sit on a line and wait.

Will they win a prize?

Receive an award?

Be recognized for their achievement?

No. No. And no.

So why do they do it?

For the visceral feeling they get holding a brand spanking new device that no one else (yet) has. That’s why.

Oh. And they’re fanboys.

hundreds-line-up-in-front-of-an-apple-store-in-central-berlin-germany

Now y’all know you’re supposed to be at work! WTF?!

2. You take pro- (or anti-) device claims at face value.

If anything that Apple (or Google) publishes in anticipation of a release gives you wood and you regurgitate the features and capabilities as fact, sight unseen, you’re a fanboy.

So what you’re getting all your information from the rumor mill?

If Apple says it, it must be true. Right?

town crier

3. You take criticism of your device personally.

Everyone knows that Apple’s battery life is notoriously horrible. Or that Android devices routinely freeze, crash and drop calls.

But if you’re a fanboy, and someone utters a word against your favored device, all you hear are fighting words – and you’re literally ready to fight.

I remember when the Samsung Galaxy GS3 dropped.

Several of my so-called friends copped it and were all ga-ga over it.

I had one of the first GS3s in my office and had a chance to take it for a test drive.

Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed.

I posted a blog with my two cents, and was immediately set upon for posting negative reviews.

I had to unfriend a few folks after that.

iPhone-5-Android-Market

Don’t know why the illustrator decided to cast the Android as the Jedi. Android is definitely the dark side of the force. Hello?

4. You’ve never owned the competing device.

As a result, you’re totally ignorant about what an iOS device or Android can or can’t do.

It’s hard to offer any legitimate critique of a competing device if you’ve never owned one.

But that doesn’t keep fanboys from making far-reaching pronouncements about the inadequacies of the opposition.

Wouldn't you rather hate in ignorance than admire with full information?

Wouldn’t you rather hate in ignorance than admire with full information?

5. You still rock Blackberry.

There is no more profound evidence to the existence of a true fanboy, than Blackberry owners.

Despite the obsolescence (or near obsolescence – they’re clearly on life support) of Blackberry devices for several years now, there are still legions that swear by these blocky, keyboard bearing pieces of antiquity.

blackberry passport

Will the Blackberry Passport help to revive the dying brand? Not likely. But we have a new device to make fun of!

Now if you have any doubt whether or not you’re a fanboy, ask yourself, “When was the last time you owned <input name of device you don’t currently own here>?”

If you can’t remember, you’re a fanboy.

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Filed under advocacy, digital advocacy, iPhone, mobile

Why the rumored iPhone 6 gives me wood.

Concept art courtesy of Minyanville.com

Concept art courtesy of Minyanville.com

I’m a sucker for anything Apple.

It’s true.

I readily admit I’m a fanboy.

Mind you, I’ll still hate on some crappy Apple shit (i.e. “flat design” of iOS 7).

But my first reaction upon hearing about some new Apple this-or-that is usually one of unbridled enthusiasm.

It should come as no surprise then, that my heart palpitations started when I heard the latest Apple rumors.

What Apple rumors?

The iPhone 6, of course.

That’s right.

Let it sink in.

iPhone. 6.

The Chinese are simply the worst at keeping secrets, and as a result, we’ve been privy to all Apple’s so-called secret developments for years.

Think about it, which iPhone release haven’t we known about well in advance?

9 times out of 10, when images of prototypes, spec sizes and talk of technology acquisition rumors start swirling about, and the source of these rumors is Chinese, you best believe it’s true.

Its no wonder, then, that folks are posting up their theories of what the latest iPhone will or will not be, with unmitigated zeal and images to back it up.

You’ve got pictures of the casing? Really? C’mon China!

Your’s truly is no different.

Like I said, I’m an Apple whore.

Anywho, with the iPhone 6, Apple will supposedly go where no iPhone has gone before: the land of the phablet.

If the rumors and prototype photographs are to be believed, Apple is working on the next generation of iPhone, that will be bigger, stronger (as in more durable) and faster than anything they’ve ever created.

When I say bigger, Apple wags speculate the screen will be somewhere between 4.7 (the current size of the 5s) and 7.9 inches (the size of the iPad Mini).

Size comparison chart courtesy of MacRumors.com

Size comparison chart courtesy of MacRumors.com

Whoa.

Screens that size will put Apple directly up against it’s Galaxy and HTC rivals, which have already dropped large screen phones on the market.

The claims that Apple will be introducing a more shatter-resistant screen lifts many a heart.

We’ve all witnessed (or experienced) the spiderweb cracks with Gorilla Glass.

Lord knows you’ve got to protect the screen like it’s an eggshell or risk slicing your fingers on an intricate lattice of cracks.

Apple’s acquisition of sapphire technology, points to a desire to make the next generation phones more durable.

As usual, there are claims that the next iPhone will last longer than it’s predecessors.

Even with the new lightning charger, the iPhone 5s’ battery dies notoriously quickly.

The next generation’s quad-core A8 or an evolved A7 should mean more power, better energy conservation and a longer battery life.

Other tantalizing rumors for the iPhone 6 include an improved camera (or at least enhanced capabilities), a thinner profile, wireless charging, and an updated OS (iOS 8).

I could go on ad nausaem, but I shan’t bore you.

MacRumors and TechRadar.com (among others) do a far better job detailing the minutiae, and I’m more of a broad strokes sort of fellow, ya know?

In any instance, I’ll be keeping an eye out for more information and sneak peeks of the device as the Fall (?) 2014 release date approaches.

And if you see me in the streets, and notice a slight bulge in my nether region, “no” I am not happy to see you.

I’m probably reading another article about the iPhone 6.

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Filed under iPhone, technology

Techno zombies beware! You will be assimilated!

Walking down the street.

Waiting for the train.

Standing in line at Starbucks (or Dumb Starbucks).

You’ll see them.

Disembodied.

Half-human.

Staring bleakly.

Wide-eyed.

Faces illuminated.

Tapping furiously.

Oblivious to the world around them.

You know what I’m talking about. Don’t you?

You’re probably not even aware that you may one of them.

Zombies.

Techno-zombies to be exact.

What’s a techno zombie?

I thought I made it up, but the Urban Dictionary describes them as follows:

A person or persons who walk through public areas (shopping malls, sidewalks, etc) text messaging on their cellphones, not paying attention to their surroundings.

My definition is a little more expansive.

In my universe, a techno zombie is anyone whose life revolves around their device. Their every waking hour is devoted to an absolute (or near absolute) obsession with their device.

How do you know whether you’re a techno zombie or not?

Simple: answer the following questions.

When you get up in the morning, do you automatically check your phone or tablet?

When you head out the door, do you reflexively check your phone?

When you’re walking to the train or subway, do you frequently check your phone?

When you’re riding the train or  subway, are you checking your phone?

When you’re sitting in a meeting or on a conference call at your job, do you find yourself checking your phone?

At various points throughout the day, do you find yourself checking your phone?

Do you find yourself checking your phone even when you haven’t received an alert, buzz or notification prompt?

Have you ever experienced the ‘phantom vibration’?

If you answered “yes” to four or more of the questions above, you’re a techno zombie.

And I don’t want to hear that you’re always checking for missed calls.

You’re not that important and who actually calls anyone anymore?

You’re checking for a response to that last text message.

Or the latest Facebook post in your feed.

Maybe you just got an alert from the NY Times.

Or someone invited you to play Words with Friends.

Perhaps it was a notification that someone started following you on Twitter.

Whatever the reason, we have become a people inextricably tied to our devices.

Somehow, insidiously, we have slid from a people who thrive on physical interaction to ones who subsist virtually.

We have become the Borg.

Borg 1

Oh, I’m exaggerating, am I?

Check it.

The next time you leave your office, count the number of people walking down the block with their faces buried in their phones.

Walking and texting is so commonplace that one can navigate an entire city block without ever looking up.

Instead of bumping, pinball like, off other people, eliciting “Hey! Watch where you’re going!s” in your wake, people part like the Red Sea, allowing you to pass unaccosted.

Because no one wants to disturb you mid-text.

The next time you’re on the train, observe how many people whip out their devices and remain glued to them the entire ride.

Gone is the polite banter among riders, replaced by mutes, immersed in tiny screens.

The walking dead.

walking dead

Zombie-like we wander, shunning human interaction for virtual pleasure.

Seeking validation in likes, retweets and shares, instead of in the company of other people.

We have lost our individuality.

Subsisting instead, as part of a large undifferentiated mass of eyeballs, to be sold to the highest bidder.

And what is this collective to which we belong?

Who profits from our lack of individuality?

Facebook? The Government? Microsoft? Google? Apple?

Who knows?

We certainly don’t. Nor do we care.

Today, February 11th, is a rally to protest data collection by the NSA.

How many of us will be there?

How many of us are even aware of the data collection practices of the numerous carriers, apps, websites, and online service we happily sign up for?

Which of us actually takes the time to read the Terms and Conditions associated with using Gmail, or Facebook, or Instagram?

When was the last time you opted out of a request by a third-party app to “post on your behalf” when “signing up using Facebook?”

When was the last time you actually turned your phone off or (even more daring) left your phone at home? On purpose?

With all the data collection being done, hackers lurking around every public wi-fi spot, and swiss cheese privacy policies making your every keystroke fodder for marketers, I’m surprised that more of us are not alarmed at our steady decline into digital complacency.

Rather than fighting to ensure that we safeguard ourselves against the insipid practices of Big Brother, we’re checkboxing our way to our own demise.

And we’re taking our kids down with us too.

We happily hand our children Nintendo DSIs, Kindle Fires, PlayStations and Xboxes and wonder why they’re fat, lazy, with ADHD, short attention spans and don’t know how to socialize with their peers.

While my rant today may seem random, it was inspired by my own personal descent into digital oblivion.

The other day, I found myself staring downward, at my iPhone, as I made my way towards the train.

I had become that which I abhorred!

How often had I cursed the wayward walker ahead of me, bobbing and weaving, oblivious to all else but their precious device?

Imagine my shock to find myself the wayward walker.

When I got home, I took and hid all the kids’ electronic devices in the house, and none too soon.

I realized that my children were being assimilated and I was contributing to the their social demise.

Who knew how much longer I had before I was LOLing with my kids via text and ‘liking’ on Facebook instead of hugging and playing with them in real life?

Take this as a cautionary tale, my friends, before you too end up assimilated…

…or crumpled under the bumper of a car.

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Filed under advocacy, mobile

Infographic: Android may grow, but Apple makes dough.

Apple vs. AndroidIn the war for mobile dominance, there are only two acknowledged players: Apple and Android.

Where once Apple held unchallenged dominion in the smartphone market, Android, led primarily by Samsung, has made slow but steady progress through the years.

Apple is no longer the only horse in the race, and there are serious rivalries in play.

And it’s not just Apple’s mobile phones that are being challenged.

The highly innovative iPad, which revolutionized the tablet market, must fend off the forays of the Kindles, Nintendo, et als, who are all vying for that lucrative tablet market.

What’s at stake in this rivalry is more than just eyeballs.

A smartphone or tablet gives their manufacturers a means through which they can push content.

The devices people rock drives commerce.

It’s a means to an end.

A quick glance at any quarterly Nielsen or ComScore report will tell you why.

Mobile is big business.

Ad, app and device revenues in mobile are in the billions of dollars annually.

That’s billions with a “B.”

Rather than prattle on about the stats, I’ve created a handy-dandy infographic.

This snapshot looks at the Apple Android rivalry in terms of device shipments, app downloads, mobile gaming, gaming revenue and Black Friday revenue.

Apple vs Android Infographic

For the most part, the information is gleaned from reports from Q3 2013, but I’m curious to see what 2013 year end stats look like.

The main takeaway (at least for me) is that while Android’s numbers are growing, by leaps and bounds, the money – the REAL money – is being made by Apple.

I’m not counting Android out, by a long shot, but they’ve got a ways to go before they’re a challenge to Apple’s dominance.

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Filed under apps, mobile