Tag Archives: domesticated

I’ve Been Domesticated (aka You’re Slipping Dude)

I don’t know when it happened.

One day, I’m the king of the castle.

The lord of all I survey.

My word is law.

My rule absolute.

But that day has passed.

It’s a new day now, and I’m feeling a tad…disoriented.

You see, a few weekends ago, my wife had her girlfriend over.

In anticipation of her arrival, I cooked (barbecued actually) and cleaned.

After D (my wife’s friend) arrived, I waited on she and my wife, hand and foot, attending to their every need.

As the evening progressed, I found myself cleaning up after them.

“Yes dear?” became my mantra.

I was a bonafide manservant.

The houseboy of Half of a Yellow Sun.

It was right after I poured them each another glass of wine, and began washing the dishes, that I had the most shocking revelation:

I’ve been domesticated!

There I was, standing at the kitchen sink, as my wife and her girl chatted about this, that and the other in the dining room.

I found myself (half) listening to their conversation, content in my domestication, offering my two cents from the peanut gallery.

Very much periphery to their merriment.

As I turned and smiled at some clever thing the wife was saying, I had an out-of-body experience.

The old Stephen had a few words for this pathetic domesticated creature, and it went a little something like this…


Filed under Smack talking