Tag Archives: Hide Your Kids

Look out East Orange.

Stephen Chukumba is coming for your kids.

Not in a pedophilic way you moron!

Like the Pied Piper.

Well, no.

Not like the Pied Piper.

Depending upon which version you’ve read, he was kinda a bad guy.

A tad spiteful.

More like a nurturing Pied Piper.

Who leads the children with his magical pipe iPhone.

But brings them back – happy and healthy – and smarter.

Damn Ariel, you got me all jacked up just trying to start a post.

What I’ve been trying to say is that this Thursday, I’ll be hosting career workshop sessions for middle schoolers in East Orange, New Jersey.

I was invited to speak.

Scratch that.

I volunteered to speak after my wife came home and told me about the event.

Her organization, Arts Unbound, is sending someone to talk to the kids about professions in the arts.

This will be a departure from the traditional career days these East Orange 8th graders are accustomed to.

Which typically involve cops and firefighters speaking to the kids.

But rarely individuals from other professions.

Much less a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious cat like your’s truly!

Not that there’s anything wrong with cops and firefighters.

Actually, there are often things wrong with (people who decided to become) cops – but that’s another story for another time.

And there are a few that genuinely protect and serve.

But my point is that our kids need to know that there’s more out there for them than dodging bullets or flames for a living.

They can actually make a living by using their b-r-a-i-n-s.

You know – the grey matter between their ears.

Novel concept, I know.

I fully intend to blow their minds with knowledge.

And I’m the perfect dude to do it.

Have you seen me?

6’3″ Black man with dreads and tattoos?

What kid wouldn’t be like “who is THAT?” when I walk in the room?

They’re probably expecting me to talk about rapping or entertainment or something.

Imagine their shock when I start dropping jewels about apps, mobile web and technology on ’em!

I’m sure a few heads will explode.

Note to self: wear goggles and a smock.

So parents of children attending the Patrick F. Healy Middle School in East Orange, be forewarned.

I’m coming to your town.

And I’m getting at your kids.

All up in their heads.

Turning them into little technologists.

Minion doing my bidding.

And if your kids come home from Career Day talking about APIs, platforms and networks, know that your boy Chukumba did that.