Tag Archives: iPad 2

January 7, 2014 · 9:40 am

iOS 7 is the most unstable, unreliable OS ever. #iOS7sucksballs

The white screen of death.

The white screen of death.

Yeah, I said it.

iOS 7 is unquestionably the most unstable, unreliable, defect ridden OS (operating system) that Apple has ever released.

I wish I were simply going for dramatic effect, as I am prone to do.

But I’m not.

Unfortunately (for Apple and Apple users) I’m serious.

Since I’ve had the iPhone 5s, which came preloaded with this garbage, and since I stepped up to iOS 7 on my iPad 2, I’ve experience more crashes than I care to mention.

Even though I’ve meticulously kept up with all updates, my devices seem to crash frequently.

I’m rocking 7.0.4, but I might as well be on a Windows phone for the frequency with which I find myself staring at the white screen of death.

It got so bad that I started keeping a crash log detailing the dates, times and activities I was engaged in.

To date, I’ve recorded several (although I’ve experience many more), to wit:

  • 11/24 @ 7:03 pm Facebook app crashed on iPhone
  • 11/26 @ 11:37 am Chat crashed on iPad
  • 11/26 @ 7:59 am Kindle app crashed (switching between Kindle and Chat)
  • 12/13 @ 6:16 pm MyTix app crashed on iPhone
  • 1/2 @ 10:48 am iTunes crashed on iPhone

I was just going to record these crashes for internal use with my team, but as I was tapping out a post in WordPress on my iPad, it crashed.

When I opened OmniFocus on my iPhone to add it to my crash log, the iPhone crashed too.

Back to back crashes on two different devices within seconds of each other.

I can’t make this shit up.

I was hot.

I started to post a tirade, blasting Apple’s latest OS as a drug-induced, hippie-hued useless waste of time.

But cooler heads prevailed, and I paused.

What would that get me (aside from jeers, cheers and a round of applause from jaded Android uses)?

Instead, I’ve decided to do an informal survey, asking folks about their experiences with iOS 7 to see if my experience is anomalous or par for the course.

I’m posing the following questions to Apple users and will post the results of my survey in a subsequent post.





Remember to click “Vote” after each question to have your answer tallied.

Your opinion matters, so please take the time to complete the poll, comment here, on Facebook or wherever you encounter this post/poll.

If you don’t answer the poll here, you can tag your responses with the hashtag #ios7sucksballs to be included in the survey.

My blog is so popular that WordPress will likely crash from the overwhelming traffic, so if you re trying to leave a comment with your responses, but are unable to do so due to system constraints, please try again later.

Now I don’t want to be a complaining complainatron, so here’s a link to an article from Digital Trends, with solutions to some of the more common problems with iOS 7.

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October 25, 2013 · 2:40 pm

I will turn tricks for an iPad Air.

20131026-160226.jpg

A few days ago Apple hosted one of its infamous announcements.

Once again, I received no invitation to the event announcing their upcoming releases.

So I made it a point not to let them benefit from my considerable digital footprint by mentioning anything about Apple on Wednesday.

But I did check in (online).

Of all the things Apple announced, one item caught my attention: the iPad Air.

First, there was the iPad, which revolutionized tablets. Sure it had its flaws, but it was dope nonetheless.

Then came the iPad 2, a massive leap forward from its heavier, clunkier, camera-deprived predecessor.

On the heels of the iPad 2, came the iPad 3 and the oddly named “New iPad” (a/k/a the iPad 4), which have both been subsequently discontinued.

As well as the iPad Mini.

On Wednesday, Apple unveiled the newest member of the iPad family and all I can say is: I want it.

It’s terrible, I know.

I, of all people, should be able to resist the lure of a new Apple product.

But you know what? I can’t.

And you know why? Because the new iPad is awesome!

Why is it awesome?

Well I’ll tell you.

For one, its lighter. Now I’m not a bitch and I work out rather frequently. So it’s not like carrying around my iPad is physically taxing.

But lighter is lighter, and as strong as I may be, I’m always appreciative when device manufacturers lighten my load.

Next, it’s faster. For the recreational user who is all Scrabble-with-Friends and Angry Birds, Apple’s 64 bit A7 chip probably doesn’t mean much. But to anyone into motion and graphics, the new architecture means faster CPU and graphics performance.

I’m no heavy filmmaker or photographer, so the processing power of the latest iPad is somewhat lost on me. But I still appreciate knowing that all that power resides under the hood if I need it.

Now if you’re on the go all the time, like I am, then this feature alone is worth the upgrade: two antennas.

There is nothing worse that weak wifi or cellular signal strength. The iPad Air should be able to keep you connected if you’re near anything broadcasting a wireless or cellular signal.

The improved 5-megapixel iSight camera will let you shoot in 1080p and there are also enhancements to the image quality of the FaceTime camera as well.

I’m particularly interested in the smaller overall profile of the iPad Air. I’m curious to see how the smaller bezel, width and weight translate.

The one thing that really excites me about the iPad Air is all the free stuff that comes preloaded with the device. iPhoto, iMovie, GarageBand, Pages, Numbers, and Keynote are free with iPad Air.

If I recall correctly, Apple is giving their iWork and iLife suite of productivity products away free for everyone with a MacBook and iPad device.

All in all, the iPad Air has me all hot and heavy.

To be clear: I am a whore for Apple products. Even though I may not cop every single thing that comes out of Cupertino, I lust hungrily for them nonetheless.

I may play hard-to-get, but we all know I’m Apple’s hoe.

Notwithstanding my hoe-ish inclination, my excitement for the iPad Air is genuine and unrelated to my natural promiscuous nature.

But I will turn a trick or two to get one…

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May 7, 2013 · 11:29 am

The iPad 2. My “new” favorite device.

Stephen and iPad sitting in a tree, w-o-r-k-i-n-g.

Stephen and iPad sitting in a tree, w-o-r-k-i-n-g.

Have you heard?

I’m in love!

No. Not with my wife.

I mean, I’m in love with my wife.

Don’t get me wrong.

She’s a sweet chick that doesn’t get on my nerves too much.

Just kiddin honey. You don’t get on my nerves at all.

The point is, I’m in love but its not the wife.

No. Not the kids.

Love the kids (by default, not design).

But I’m not talking offspring here.

My job? Gimme a break!

Check in with me when I’m clocking seven figures.

For now, negatory.

Alright, last guess.

Wrong!

I do love sex.

But it’s an act, not a thing.

You suck at this.

Remind me never to pick you as a game show partner.

It’s my iPad 2!

I am head over heels in love with it.

I recently got it from wifey for my birthday.

I was, in a word, verklempt.

Why all the emotion?

After all, this is my second iPad.

I had the original for three years.

Mind you, I was pissed when Apple dropped the 2 within months of my copping the 1.

But I wasn’t going for the okey-doke and buying into Apple’s manipulative bait-and-switch (and rape your pockets).

So for three years, I made do with my camera-less, FaceTime deficient, slower iPad.

Don’t get me wrong, we had our run.

But when the 4 was released, followed by the Mini, and talks began about a 5 and a retina display Mini, I realized enough was enough.

I had to step up my game.

Then came the dilemma.

Do I cop the 2, 3, 4 or Mini?

The Mini was out of the question.

I tooled around with it in the office, and it was so not a tablet.

I mean it is a tablet, but its not a tablet.

Knowhatimean?

You’re daft.

Try to keep up with me, please?

Anywho, the debate really centered around the 2, 3 and 4.

Do I just go for it and drop coin for the latest and greatest, the 4 with its retina display, 4G LTE and all the bells and whistles?

Or do I settle for something less bells and whistley from an earlier generation?

The decision was easy.

The 2.

Same (general) features and functionality of the (now defunct) 3 (and 4), less price.

Sure it’s maxed out at 16GB.

And there’s no Siri.

Lower resolution photos and video recording.

But for all intents and purposes, its the same thing.

Truth be told, my love affair with the 2 started the day I beheld it in the wild for the first time.

My man’s girl had one in Miami, during Art Basel.

And before I knew what was happening, I was one of those dorks shooting video with a big ole tablet in my outstretched arms – Frankenstein’s monster-like.

Get it right. Frankenstein was the man, not the monster.

The foolishness of my appearance did little to dampen the unbridled affection I felt – and presently feel – for it.

Even today, well after the novelty has worn off, as I cradle my very own 2 lovingly in my mitts, affection wells in my chest.

Why the love affair, you ask?

Well, nothing in my arsenal impacts my day-to-day productivity more than the iPad.

My iPad helps me get shit done.

Shout out to Moses.

If you’ve every tried to work on your iPhone while out and about, or even on your laptop, you quickly realize there are – limitations.

One’s too small and cramped.

The other’s too big and bulky.

But my iPad is just right.

I power through emails.

Schedule appointments.

Knock out to-do’s.

I’m generally bout-it-bout-it.

Bout-it bout-it=handling one’s business in a professional and thorough manner.

When I’m rocking with my iPad, you might as well give me a cape and call me the Black Superman.

I gets that busy.

So if you see me out and about, fondling or kissing my iPad, and it makes you feel…uncomfortable…

Avert your eyes.

Nothing’s going to stand in the way of my love.

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October 24, 2012 · 12:20 am

The iPad Mini is real. And it’s almost here.

iPads back to back.

Today at 10:00 am PST, Apple unveiled the iPad Mini (yes, that’s what they’re calling it).

Once again, Apple failed to send me a press invitation.

Earth to Cupertino – Chukumba’s audience really needs him to be there for a firsthand assessment.

Don’t you know that there are at least six people who rely on these assessments before making purchase decisions?

But, as the bigger person, I won’t hold it against them, and still give you the goods.

We huddled around an iPad 2 in the office to watch the announcement.

Ironic huh? Watching the announcement for the Mini on a 2.

I digress.

Anyway, after going over all of the things they’ve done to improve the current iPad, they flipped an image of the iPad to its back, where stood the new iPad Mini.

It was a thing to behold.

For one, the iPad Mini is dwarfed by the current version.

Indeed, during the presentation, a real iPad Mini was introduced, and it fit in the Tim Cook’s one hand.

My first impression was that it looked like the Galaxy Note.

That can’t be good.

Knee jerk reactions aside, there were a host of features they called out.

Its small. 7.9 inches on the diagonal.

Its thin. About the width of a pencil.

Its as light. They compared it to a pad of paper.

And contrary to my assessment last week, they gave us everything we’ve come to know and love about the iPad in the Mini.

We’ve got both cameras.

Apple even gave us some new shit.

Can you say faster wifi?

All-in-all, it looks like the Mini will be a real coup for Apple.

With the $329 for the wifi only 16Gb version, it’s an easy entry point.

And certainly something to keep folks from flocking to the Kindle Fire HD, the Google Nexus or the Samsung Galaxy Note.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to get one.

And once I have it, I’ll give you a real assessment.

Not me talking about what they talked about.

So bear with me, while I wait for Apple to send me a version to test.

Don’t hold your breath.

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October 15, 2012 · 11:34 am

iPad Mini. iPad Jr. Whatever you are, just get here already.

I’ve been quietly watching from the sidelines to see what, if anything Apple is going to do with the iPad Mini.

So far, there have been (the standard) sightings of the Mini, leaked to the internet.

And oodles and oodles of speculation about what features will be baked into it.

To be honest, I can’t say that I’ve followed any of this chatter closely.

I’ve done that dance before.

Wait with bated breath, only to be let down when the <insert name of much anticipated Apple device here> actually arrives.

At this point, it’s just that I know how Apple does.

Why should the iPad Mini be any different?

We all know what the iPad mini should be.

But it’s unlikely that it will be what we expect.

I firmly believe that the iPad Mini should be a small version of the iPad.

It should be fully functional with all its current features intact.

That means, the iPad Mini should have: a forward and read-facing camera, wifi, 3G, essentially everything the current iPad 3 has.

But will Apple give us the device we expect?

Probably not.

It will most likely be like the original iPad.

You remember how disappointed you were when you opened up your iPad and realized that there was no camera.

But wait!

Here comes the iPad 2, with what?

Wait for it…

…A camera!

Bastards!

Why did do they do that to us?

Wasn’t the iPad really just a big iPhone?

Didn’t the iPhone already have 2 cameras!?

So why strip the iPad of what everyone assumed would have been a natural feature to include in the iPad?

Money, obviously.

But they’re not going to do that to the iPad Mini?

Are they?

Isn’t the whole point of the iPad Mini offering to compete with the other smaller form tablet devices in the market today?

Shouldn’t the strategy be to bake all the bells and whistles that devices like the Kindle Fire and Galaxy Note have?

Wouldn’t it be counter-intuitive to withhold features that consumers are already used to on the current iPad?

I got my son the Kindle Fire, and it really is a great device.

Now there’s the blown out HD version, which is a real step up in a number of respects for Kindle.

Higher resolution screen.

Faster processor.

More storage.

Additional ports.

4G LTE.

They blew it out!

Apple would be wise to follow suit and go H.A.M. with the iPad Mini.

H.A.M.=hard as a motherfucker for my Kanye West challenged readers.

Unfortunately, experience tells us that Apple doesn’t always do what’s best for the consumer.

So while I’m interested to see the new iPad Mini, I’ve set my expectations very low.

Do I want it?

Sure.

I’d rather have an iOS device that synchs with the rest of my Mac world, than some other device that doesn’t.

Will I be disappointed.

Sure.

History tells us that Apple is notorious for putting out products that often fall far short of user expectation.

Apple should just release the iPad Mini and put us all out of our collective misery already.

But with a constantly moving announcement date, its unlikely that we’ll see an iPad Mini in the wild anytime soon.

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February 22, 2012 · 4:22 pm

Enough with the Leaks! Drop The iPad 3 Already!

Is it real? Will the world have the iPad 3 soon?

A little over a year ago, I got my first iPad.

Less than 35 days after I did, Apple released the iPad 2.

Needless to say, my acquisition fell outside of the 30 day window in which Apple permitted iPad owners to exchange their iPad and upgrade to the iPad 2.

I wasn’t about to shell out any money for what I thought (at the time) were minor upgrades.

I had fallen for Apple’s chicanery in the past, and I wasn’t about to be parted with my money for a few bells and whistles.

Sure, there’s a better display, and two cameras, and a faster processor, but what does that really mean?

It wasn’t until a few months ago, that I actually used an iPad 2 for the first time.

Now I look upon my iPad with utter disgust.

How could I have been living like such a…savage…for so long?

So, it is with much anticipation that await the release the iPad 3.

And each new leak only increases that anticipation.

What leaks?

Where have you been?

For months, there has been unbridled speculation about what new features the iPad 3 would possess.

And recently, there have been credible ‘leaks’ of some of the component parts of the upcoming Apple tablet.

Here’s a short summary for you cave dwellers.

The Case

Last week, Mashable released photos of what purports to be the outer casing for the iPad 3. The images, which came from a Chinese blog, Apple Daily, are contained in a gallery which show the inside and outside of the casing. In addition, Apple Daily included a comparison of the three iPads, showing the similarities and differences of one section of the iPad. The case is rumored to be slightly larger than the iPad 2, to accommodate a larger battery, to support a more powerful processor and the LTE 4G radio.

iPad 3, I must have thee!

The Retina Display

The iPad 3 is rumored to have a 2048×1536 retina display. This rumor was apparently confirmed by MacRumors (how appropriate) last week, when they posted (what appears to be) photographs of the new ultra-high resolution retina display, which they claim to have examined under a microscope.

What does a display with twice the pixels of the current iPad mean to regular folks? Think HD on your iPad. Images will be incredible sharp and you’ll see details that you weren’t even aware were there on regular displays.

MacRumors side-by-side microscopic comparisons of the iPad displays.

The Camera

The size and configuration of the back casing also appears to fuel speculation that there will be an 8 megapixel camera (the same camera on the iPhone 4S) on the new iPad. An 8 megapixel camera on the iPad 3 will mean higher quality photographs, rivaling that of professional cameras. (Not really – but I wanted to sound dramatic).

All I can say, is that the speculation is killing me!

What I didn’t tell you about my experience with the iPad 2, was that I was seriously contemplating robbing the friend who let me rock it.

As I walked around Miami, recording video and talking with various admirers inquiring as to what I was doing (walking around holding a tablet in front of me), I thought about the various stories I could come up with as to why I was returning without the device.

But, I suspect, if I had made off with the iPad 2, the iPad 3 would drop immediately thereafter, and I’d be stymied, once again, in my efforts to possess the latest and greatest Apple device.

So, I wait, until March 7th, when Apple will allegedly announce when the iPad 3 will be available for sale.

And I will wait (not in some line outside the Apple store like some teenage concert-goer) until I can cop one for me-self.

Shoot, it’s about to be my 42nd birthday in two months.

Perhaps I can convince my network to help me raise the money to buy one, as they famously did on my 40th (love you guys!!)

But really, enough with the leaks. Drop the iPad 3 already!!

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