Tag Archives: Jailbreak

My week with the iPhone 5s and iOS 7 in one word: Boooooo!

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Last Friday I got the 5s.

Rather the job got me the 5s.

A gold one.

One of the benefits of working in tech.

Anyway, with the 5s, I’ve been able to check out two things.

iOS 7 and the latest iPhone.

Since my phones are always jailbroken, I hadn’t updated the operating system on my former iPhone 5, so I wasn’t really up on iOS 7 quite yet.

Even though I played with a few of the devices in the office that we updated to iOS 7, I wasn’t in a position to critique it fully, as I wasn’t rocking it day to day.

But with my new phone, with iOS 7 baked in from the door, I had no excuses.

So since Friday, I’ve been all 5s and iOS 7.

What do I think?

Underwhelmed is the first word that comes to mind.

There were no great leaps from the 5 to the 5s.

Yeah, it’s gold-ish and has a cute ring around the home button, and that fingerprint authentication is interesting (= totally unsecure).

But considering that Apple is known for coming up with dope shit, this falls well below the standard I’ve come to expect.

From the moment I took it out of the box, I’ve been waiting for that “Aha!” moment, when I could actually see what all the fuss with iOS 7 was about.

Almost a week later and I’m still waiting…

A month ago, when I reviewed iOS 7’s features, I was genuinely intrigued.

Jony Ives’ LSD inspired color palette redesign (which I’m not particularly fond of) aside, it looked like Apple was really trying to get back to their core – innovation.

Although all the updates looked very Android-esque, I was willing to reserve judgment until I held (and rocked out with) the genuine article.

Now that I have, I can’t help but feel gipped.

Why? You ask?

Well, it’s simple.

The new stuff isn’t really new.

I mean it is new.

There is a new color scheme, new icons, new gesture-based commands, new buttons, new transitions and new ways to access and remove apps running in the background, but none of this is anything to write home about.

So yeah, there are new things in it, but I was expecting more.

Is it just me?

Do I expect too much?

But seriously, some of the changes they’ve made are just annoying.

Safari? Boooo!

Can I just get to the browser bar? Please?

What’s with the unnecessary steps just to input a URL or search query?

Quitting apps running in the background? Boooo!

Why does it seem like there are more screens than icons?

And why is it all loosey goosey?

And what’s with all this zoom in zoom out stuff?

Apple, your transitions are giving me vertigomotion sickness.

Chill with all the unnecessary animation!

Things used to be so simple.

Mind you, this is not to say that there aren’t features in iOS 7 that I like.

There are.

For example, where you used to be able to swipe to the right from the home screen or click the home button to access search, you can now simply swipe down in the center of any screen.

See? That’s something right?

But there are more things I don’t like, than I do.

What can I say?

I’m a critic.

All jokes aside, one thing that I can say I am unequivocally NOT fond of, is the number of times iOS 7 has crashed.

It is by far, the most unstable OS release to date.

I can count on three fingers the number of times I’ve had my iPhones (plural) crash in the past.

But I’ve had the same number in less than one week.

I wish I could say that these crashes occurred when I was doing something exotic, like trying to jailbreak my phone.

But no. In the course of ordinary use, the joint will just fail.

I’d heard grumbling a of iOS 7’s instability, and I’m not one to take naysayers at their word (being one myself).

But this joint WILL crash on your ass.

There. I’ve said it.

All in all, the iPhone 5s gold, is cute.

The vanity of the the upgrade was enough for me – especially on a company dime.

And the updates are enough to satisfy the undiscerning masses.

So you’ll probably be impressed.

But not ole Stephen Chukumba.

You’ve got to get up pretty early in the morning to impress me.

And Apple clearly overslept with this.

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Filed under iPhone, opinion

Jailbreak is here! Jailbreak is here!

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After several long months of waiting, there is finally a Jailbreak for iOS 6.

I know most of you are like “so effing what?”

But for the geek technorati, this Jailbreak is a godsend.

In the past, I went through all kinds of conniptions to get my iOS devices jailbroken.

When word of a new jailbreak hit, it was on!

I’d head uptown, snaking my way through side streets and back alleys.

Special knock.

Password.

Think Neo getting a knock on his door in The Matrix.

A few hours of tinkering, backing up, installing and configuring and…Viola!

Jailbroken devices.

And free apps as far as the eye can see.

But that was before Hackulous and the Installous store were unceremoniously shuttered.

What?!

You didn’t know that Installous, the infamous pirate app store, shut down earlier this year?

Well it did.

Leaving many Jailbreak aficionados, like myself, in the dark about the future.

And with no way of getting our grubby hands on cracked and app store rejects.

For months we’ve been wandering an iOS wasteland, waiting for a Jailbreak messiah.

And we’ve been rewarded for our faith and patience.

Enter Evasion.

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The Evasion jailbreak tool picks up where Installous left off.

For one, it makes jail breaking your phone a cinch.

I’ve never personally jailbroken my own phone.

Moreover, I never dreamed that I’d be able to jailbreak my own device in a matter of minutes.

It was so simple, that I found myself shell shocked.

I haven’t even visited Cydia to cop any new apps.

Now that’s not to say that I won’t.

I just haven’t yet.

I think the ease with which I was able to bypass Apple’s draconian efforts to bar third party app developers, dulled it’s appeal.

What good is being bad if everyone can do it?

A jailbroken device was a sign of anarchy.

But you’re not an anarchist if your actions are….ordinary.

In any instance, I’m just happy I’ve (once again) wrested control of my device from Apple.

And can trick my iPhone 5 out the way I want.

If you’re interested in joining the 7 million of us who have already tasted freedom, check out Redmondpie.com’s simple instructions for getting your jailbreak on.

Disclaimerm: Jailbreaking allows you to access apps and tools which have not been expressly blessed by Apple (=passed Apple’s vigorous muster). So whenever you install apps onto a jailbroken device, know that you run the risk of fucking some shit up.

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Filed under apps, iPad, iPhone, mobile

Well eff you then! iOS 6 ain’t all that anyway! A review, of sorts

After a much awaited…uh…wait, yesterday, iOS 6 finally arrived.

Everyone in the office with an iPhone broke out their joints and copped the update.

Everyone except your boy, that is.

You see, long ago, I became a Jailbreak disciple.

And the first rule of Jailbreaking is that you never automatically update your OS.

Updating a jail broken phone without first acquiring the secret sauce to preserve your jailbreak, renders it obsolete.

So there was no updating anything until my crew had successfully implemented a jailbreak for it.

Consequently, I watched curiously, from the sidelines, as others eagerly updated their devices.

Like giddy children, they clutched their iPhones and sat through the (painstakingly long) process of getting the update to their devices.

Unblinking, they sat, eyes glued to their screens as slowly (oh so slowly), the progress bar made it’s way across the screen.

Muffled gasps escaped their lips, as the updates completed and they were presented with the shiny new iOS 6 welcome screen.

Wide-eyed, they stepped through the balance of the set up wizard.

Apple Id sign-in. Check.

Location services. Enabled.

Set up complete!

But wait!

What’s this?

There’s more stuff to update?

iBooks, Map, Calendar, Address Book…

Well okay…

More updates.

More wide eyes.

The anticipation was palpable.

And then…

The same old home screen.

No…no…

Wait! What do I spy?

Passbook?

What is this passbook?

Is this the thingamajiggy that lets you store all you loyalty cards and accounts?

Whoa! Somebody’s all fancy schmancy!

Is that a…

A new map!

Stop the presses!

Hmmm…interesting, no navigation dock or buttons on the bottom…it’s all map!

And they’ve re-arranged the buttons behind the map, how nice.

I wonder how turn-by-turn works…

Dude, who’s calling you?

What?!!

There are updates to the phone too!

In addition to “Accept” and “Decline” buttons there’s a little phone icon, that pulls up a bunch of options.

Don’t want to take a call, now you can (politely) tell the caller to piss off!

What will they think of next?

Ummm…you can hit “decline” now.

I’m done with this update.

Was? (“What” indignantly, for my German-challenged)

Is that a slight tint to the color of the status bar I see?

Those sly devils!

Hold on…don’t put it away quite yet…

What are you doing?

I haven’t finished reviewing iOS 6…

There’s no need to get back to work…

The clients can wait…

What about Siri?

And all the other stuff?!

What about all the other stuff!

C’mon! Don’t put your phone away!

Why you gotta be like that?

You’re right.

I shouldn’t be breathing all down your neck.

I didn’t even realize I was drooling.

Don’t worry, it won’t stain…

And you could have just told me I was wolfing…

Anyone got an Altoid?

Seriously, my eleventeen readers need this review!

Well eff you then!

iOS 6 ain’t all that anyway!

And you have dandruff!

Note: What you’ve just read was pure nonsense. If you want a real review (albiet a self-serving one) check out the What’s New in iOS 6 page at Apple. And for a step-by-step walk through to update your iPhone or iPad to iOS 6, check CNET’s insightful article.

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Filed under iPhone, mobile, rant, Smack talking, technology, Uncategorized