Tag Archives: news feed

Status update: 10 signs that you’re a social media addict.

Social media addictAs I was riding the train yesterday, I look across the aisle to see the faces of five of my fellow passengers – an entire row of people – buried in their mobile devices.

For the whole ride from Montclair to New York Penn Station, they remain transfixed to the little screens of their “i” devices.

Social media addicts, the lot of them.

Social media addicts, the lot of them.

No small talk.

No exchanged glances.

No pleasantries.

Nada.

Expressionless faces peering into the void.

Looking around the train car, I noted that virtually everyone was on something.

With the exception of one couple deep in a conversation, everyone else – literally everyone else – was on some form of electronic device.

The lady to my left was ensconced in her Facebook feed.

The dude next to her was scrolling through Instagram.

Not to be the odd man out, I whipped out my iPhone, dialed up my Facebook app and began mindlessly “liking” updates in my News Feed.

Like a zombie, I stared blankly into my iPhone’s screen waiting for that thing – that visceral feeling – that made me ‘thumbs up’ one inane item or another posted by my friends.

And in that moment, I realized that I was addicted to social media.

Somehow, I had transformed from someone who thrived on human connections, to one subsisting on virtual interactions.

I knew something was amiss.

I also knew that I wasn’t alone.

Like the passengers on the train, there are probably millions out there, similarly addicted.

Today’s post is devoted to helping you figure out if you too, are an addict.

So here are the top 10 signs that you’re addicted to social media.

1. The first thing and last thing you do every day is check out your Facebook, Twitter or Instagram feed.

2. You ask people for life advice on Facebook. “Hey FB, am I addicted to FB?”

3. You’re always taking and posting selfies.

No, wait. I've got it. Hold on...just one more. No. That's not quite right. Just one more. Umm...

No, wait. I’ve got it. Hold on…just one more. No. That’s not quite right. Just one more. Umm…

4. You talk in acronyms. OMG! I’m a SM addict! SMH LMFAO

5. You constantly use hashtags. #youreaddicted #toptenlist #stephenchukumbarocks

Am I really going to search "#24yearsold"? Get your hashtag game right Maureen!

Am I really going to search “#24yearsold”? Get your hashtag game right Maureen!

6. You threaten to “unfriend” or “unfollow” people.

7. You get offended when people don’t accept your friend request or follow you back.

8. You experience the “phantom buzz” even when you don’t have your phone on you.

9. You check your phone impulsively and at the most inappropriate times.

10. You start or end you day with a greeting to your “Facebook family.”

Are we really your family, Judith? Really?

Are we really your family, Judith? Really?

If you exhibit any of these signs, put down your phone or tablet device, and get help immediately.

You could be suffering social media addiction.

If you don’t seek treatment right away, you may find yourself incapable of holding regular conversations and social interactions may become increasingly awkward.

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Filed under social media

I hate (Facebook’s) Paper. Flipboard, you’re safe.

Disclaimer: I was in a pissy mood when I wrote this. I cuss a lot in this post.
Facebook-Paper-Icon

On Monday, Facebook dropped their latest app, the horribly named “Paper.”

What’s Paper?

Paper is Facebook’s new mobile app which allows users to see their friends’ posts and news stories in a new Flipboard-like style presentation.

Notice I said “Flipboard-like” (aka not original).

Of course, all kinds of folks jumped on Facebook’s dick, proclaiming how great it was and how it was going to revolutionize the way people got their news.

But not me.

I reiterate “Flipboard-like.

Frankly, I was put off by the whole thing.

I’m thinking:

1. Why would Facebook name their app “Paper” when there is already a “Paper” (by 51) a “Paper” (by miSoft) and countless other apps bearing the “Paper” moniker?

2. Do we need yet another Facebook app to get at our Facebook feeds? Isn’t that what the Facebook app is for?

3. Does Facebook think we have nothing better to do with our time than troll through our friends’ news feeds just because the UI looks like a Flipboard?

And “yes” I think in numbered thoughts.

But I can’t really hate in ignorance, so I downloaded their stupid app to allow my hate of all things Facebook to be informed.

Since I prefer to read shit on my beloved iPad, I went to the app store to cop the iPad version.

Typed “Paper” in the search bar and found everything BUT the fucking Facebook app.

There were literally hundreds of apps with the word “paper” in them, none of which were the one I wanted.

Imagine that.

So I went to Safari, found https://www.facebook.com/paper which took me to the iTunes page with the damn app and downloaded it.

The “Details” page indicates that Paper is compatible with the iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch, but is optimized for the iPhone 5.

Optimized for the iPhone 5?

What the fuck does that mean?

Shitty graphics on the iPad.

That’s what it means.

Who wants to look at that grainy shit?

Who wants to look at that grainy shit?

Review Stephen. Don’t hate (yet).

Open Paper up on your iPad and prepare to have your vision blur – or appear to blur due to the grainy, pixelated images you’re presented with.

But shitty graphics aside, what’s up with Paper anyway?

Well, the first thing Paper does is play a little promo – quick vignettes of…well…paper, which resolves to the title page of the app.

Then you’re presented with a three (3) slide tutorial, describing how to use paper: “Do this. Then do that. Then this..blah, blah, blah.”

In short, you create your personalized feed by selecting pre-set cards, which you swipe up to add.

To select a story in your feed, you simply swipe up.

And to read that story, swipe up again.

To go back, simply swipe down and you’re back at the start.

Whoopdee.  

Fucking.  

Doo.

So what’s the big deal about Paper?

Well for one, instead of seeing your entire Facebook feed, you’re reading a curated feed.

Oooooooo!

Next, you’re no longer scrolling down an exhaustive page of updates. You’re scrolling – sideways.

Ahhhhhhhh!

And you can pan photos in Paper, giving a panoramic view of your pictures.

Gasp!

Most importantly, instead of opening a new page, when you select an item, your content fills (or recedes from) the page with a swipe.

Swoon!

As a fan of gesture based navigation, Paper is spot on.

Its very intuitive and even the most dense user could figure it out without Facebook’s loud and heavy handed tutorials.

But what makes Paper different from – oh I don’t know – say, Flipboard?

Aside from the Facebook-specific content?

Very fucking little.

And that’s not good for Facebook.

A quick side-by-side comparison will show you why.

Both Paper and Flipboard offer a tiled layout and swipe navigation.

And while they’re each great on design, Flipboard is far better in overall execution, to wit:

  • Where Flipboard provides unlimited topics for customizing your feed, Paper only provides a handful.
  • Where Flipboard allows you to share content widely with other social media platforms, Paper only lets you share within Facebook.
  • Where Flipboard has iPhone and iPad versions of their app, Paper only has an iPhone version.
  • Where Flipboard emphasizes discovery, Facebook focuses on curation (of their own content).

I could go on ad infinitum, but suffice it to say, Paper isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

And at the end of the day Paper is really just Facebook with makeup on (minus all the ads).

Do you cop it?

If you’ve got an extra 54 MB sitting around on your device – and you’re a chronic waster of time – sure!

Would I recommend it?

If you’ve got an extra 54 MB sitting around on your device – and you’re a chronic waster of time – sure!

Would I recommend it if I cared about you even one scintilla?

Abso-fucking-lutely NOT!

Take the red pill, wake the fuck up and leave Paper alone.

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Filed under apps, iPad, iPhone, mobile

Facebook, you’re slipping. An Infographic.

As articles start piling up on how little Facebook really means to people anymore, I felt it apropos to share a little project I’ve been working on for a week.

One of my friends really digs infographics, so as a way of enticing them to read my blogs, I’ve dedicate this post to an infographic on Facebook.

More specifically, I’ve created an infographic on the types of people on Facebook.

Now my survey isn’t really all that comprehensive, and I’m sure there are loads more weirdos on Facebook I could stereotype, but I think I’ve captured quite of few that will resonate with you.

Enjoy!

What kind of Facebooker are you?

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Facebook changes (again). But this time it’s not horrible.

facebook_newsfeed_courtesy of Techcrunch

Here we go again.

Facebook is (once again) changing it’s homescreen.

Over the past few days, you might have heard chatter on the interweb about Facebook’s new UI (user interface).

One day soon, the Facebook you know will be no more.

Soon billions of Facebook users will be forced to (once again) re-learn how to use it.

To be fair, Facebook let us use decipher Timeline for a hot minute now.

So I guess we shouldn’t complain.

Or be surprised that (once again) the look, feel and navigation of the Facebook homepage is entirely different from what it was yesterday.

Or the day before that.

Or the day before that.

If you haven’t seen if yet, here’s a snapshot with a hyperlink to the Facebook newsfeed page, where you can see it in living color (before the switch).

The new and improved Facebook?

The new and improved Facebook?

To their credit…

Am I actually giving someone credit?

Facebook isn’t just ramming this change down it’s users’ butts throats desktops.

You’ve actually got to sign up to be added to their waiting list.

Perhaps they’ve learned that angry hoards of users with pitchforks and flaming torches isn’t a good thing.

Whatever the case, there is something more fundamental to Facebook’s latest planned switcharoo.

Money.

Sure, they’re pitching it as a way to see your friends’ stories presented in a cleaner more streamlined fashion.

Whatev!

It’s more about giving advertisers more real estate to hawk their wares.

20130308-075139.jpg

I’m sure you’ve already noticed the sponsored stories from Classmates or Knitting Fever (or whomever) pop up in your news feed.

classmates

Knitting Fever

You know you didn’t like Romney for President, so WTF is this crap doing in your feed?

Romney for President

Facebook’s big fat greedy corporate money grubbing, that’s what.

This redesign is going to allow Facebook to leverage it’s billion plus membership all the way to the bank.

Zuckerberg’s momma didn’t raise no fool.

Again, to their credit…

There I go again! I must be getting soft in my old age.

Facebook put in some work on this redesign.

With the nice dock, cleverly tucked away on the side, the desktop version seems to have adopted the clean look and feel of the app.

I’ve been using the new Facebook app for a minute.

And it’s a pleasure.

It’s UI is clean and unobtrusive.

Unlike the desktop site.

But this redesign seems to have brought the efficiency of the app to the desktop.

I wonder if they’ve got the whole swiping thing down too?

Ya know what I’m talking about right?

If you swipe the screen of the Facebook app on the iPhone, left or right, you reveal the menu or your friends?

20130308-075341.jpg

20130308-075400.jpg

Pardon the digression.

Some surmise that Facebook will offer users the choice between switching to the new homepage design or sticking with Timeline.

But I doubt it.

Anywho, if you didn’t know this change was coming, now you know.

So don’t be actin’ all indignant when you log in one day, and the Facebook you once knew is no more.

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