Tag Archives: selfie

Status update: 10 signs that you’re a social media addict.

Social media addictAs I was riding the train yesterday, I look across the aisle to see the faces of five of my fellow passengers – an entire row of people – buried in their mobile devices.

For the whole ride from Montclair to New York Penn Station, they remain transfixed to the little screens of their “i” devices.

Social media addicts, the lot of them.

Social media addicts, the lot of them.

No small talk.

No exchanged glances.

No pleasantries.

Nada.

Expressionless faces peering into the void.

Looking around the train car, I noted that virtually everyone was on something.

With the exception of one couple deep in a conversation, everyone else – literally everyone else – was on some form of electronic device.

The lady to my left was ensconced in her Facebook feed.

The dude next to her was scrolling through Instagram.

Not to be the odd man out, I whipped out my iPhone, dialed up my Facebook app and began mindlessly “liking” updates in my News Feed.

Like a zombie, I stared blankly into my iPhone’s screen waiting for that thing – that visceral feeling – that made me ‘thumbs up’ one inane item or another posted by my friends.

And in that moment, I realized that I was addicted to social media.

Somehow, I had transformed from someone who thrived on human connections, to one subsisting on virtual interactions.

I knew something was amiss.

I also knew that I wasn’t alone.

Like the passengers on the train, there are probably millions out there, similarly addicted.

Today’s post is devoted to helping you figure out if you too, are an addict.

So here are the top 10 signs that you’re addicted to social media.

1. The first thing and last thing you do every day is check out your Facebook, Twitter or Instagram feed.

2. You ask people for life advice on Facebook. “Hey FB, am I addicted to FB?”

3. You’re always taking and posting selfies.

No, wait. I've got it. Hold on...just one more. No. That's not quite right. Just one more. Umm...

No, wait. I’ve got it. Hold on…just one more. No. That’s not quite right. Just one more. Umm…

4. You talk in acronyms. OMG! I’m a SM addict! SMH LMFAO

5. You constantly use hashtags. #youreaddicted #toptenlist #stephenchukumbarocks

Am I really going to search "#24yearsold"? Get your hashtag game right Maureen!

Am I really going to search “#24yearsold”? Get your hashtag game right Maureen!

6. You threaten to “unfriend” or “unfollow” people.

7. You get offended when people don’t accept your friend request or follow you back.

8. You experience the “phantom buzz” even when you don’t have your phone on you.

9. You check your phone impulsively and at the most inappropriate times.

10. You start or end you day with a greeting to your “Facebook family.”

Are we really your family, Judith? Really?

Are we really your family, Judith? Really?

If you exhibit any of these signs, put down your phone or tablet device, and get help immediately.

You could be suffering social media addiction.

If you don’t seek treatment right away, you may find yourself incapable of holding regular conversations and social interactions may become increasingly awkward.

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Are you a Selfie Master? The art of the selfie.

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard of ‘selfies.’

Selfies are simply pictures you take (and post) of yourself.

What started off as a way of capturing yourself in the moment, in the absence of someone else to take the picture for you, has transformed into a global phenomenon.

It’s so serious that selfies now have their own Olympic Games (of sorts).

The Selfie Olympics started this week and they are over the top.

Peep #SelfieOlympics on Twitter if you want to keep up with them.

Folks everywhere are taking selfies.

But there are folks out there, who have mastered – MASTERED – taking selfies.

Veritable Selfie Masters.

What makes them masters?

One glance at their Facebook, Twitter or Instagram feeds, and you’ll know that they take taking pictures of themselves seriously.

You know when you’ve encountered a Master.

Their pictures contain the tells.

Look for the eyes.

Sometimes wide-eyed. Sometimes, narrow slits. Sometimes opened just so.

But always with a ‘come hither’ expression, regardless of width.

Check the mouth.

Sometimes smiling. Sometimes serious. Sometimes with puckered lips.

But, somehow, always inviting.

Peep the pose.

Sometimes with their head thrown back. Sometimes bent slightly forward (with generous cleavage). Sometimes in repose.

But always beckoning you closer.

It takes work to master the selfie.

It doesn’t just happen by accident.

You’ve got to be committed.

Learning to hold your camera or camera phone just so takes practice.

Getting that smile that looks genuine, and not rehearsed, requires dedication.

Keeping your outstretched arm from being in the shot, and appearing to have had the picture taken by someone else, is high art.

Selfies are an art form.

There, I’ve said it.

Selfies are an art form.

Think about it.

Do you look good in every photo you take of yourself?

Be honest.

No. You don’t.

Know why?

You’re not a master.

Admit it.

You aren’t committed.

I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t take a good selfie to save my life.

No matter what I try, my forehead is always too big, or shiny or enveloped in shadow.

Don't stare at the top of my forehead. You may go blind.

Don’t stare at the top of my forehead. You may go blind.

Even with my best efforts, my hairline is too scruffy, unkempt or appears too far back on my head.

Am I mad because my hairline appears to be receding?

Am I mad because my hairline appears to be receding?

If I’m conscientious or not, my clothes look disheveled, ill-fitting or dirty.

Why do I have a picture in my 'man-jammies'? Anyone?

Why do I have a picture in my ‘man-jammies’? Anyone?

Generally, when it comes to selfies, I end up looking a hot mess.

It’s not like I don’t try to take a good picture.

Shit, if I’m really honest, I take dozens – dozens of shots, trying to get just the right angle or perspective.

I rarely succeed.

I end up looking like a cow in a fisheye lense.

But that’s just me.

Alas, I am not a Selfie Master.

Perhaps one day, I will have mastered the art of the selfie, and will join their storied ranks.

For now, I’ll just suffer through self-photographing mediocrity.

What about you?

Are you a Selfie Master?

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