Tag Archives: Stephen Chukumba

I really need to get over myself. A lesson in humility.

I originally published this 3 years ago, but re-reading it now, I just had to share – again.

Yesterday, God decided that I needed to be brought low.

You see, I think I’m the bee’s knees.

I’ve always thought that I was a handsome dude (really ever since I got my first piece of a**), so whenever I’m out, there’s typically a peacock strut happening.

Yesterday was no exception.

I had gone into Jersey City to see my friend, and was headed home, when I stopped into the Starbucks on the corner of Park and Church street in Montclair, to pick up a Green Tea Frappuccino for wifey.

As the weather has been nice and balmy, the people were out, and there were plenty folks milling about, enjoying the pleasant weather.

I stepped out of my freshly washed ride, opened my plume and strutted into Starbucks, aware that all eyes were on me (at least in my head).

Placed my order with the female barista. Stop staring, honey, my shine is so bright you’ll hurt your eyes.

Waited for my drink next to another redbone obviously checking me out. Notice my ring finger babe. Hate to disappoint, but I’m spoken for.

Pass another biddy on the way out the door. You actin’ like you aint lookin’, but I know you peeped my steeze when I first walked in. Stop fronting!

Note: Oh my sh*t is ridiculous!

As I step out of Starbucks, there’s this hot red drop top (‘convertible’ for the urban linguistically challenged) with a fly sister perched in the passenger side, parked behind my Jeep.

Of course, I’ve got to pass IN FRONT of her ride to get to mine, and I’m abundantly aware of the fact that I will be eye candy for her as I pass.

Plume opened and magnificent. Check.

Swagger on 10. Check.

Big Pimpin’ soundtrack playing in my head. Check.

Commence strutting.

I could write out the rest of this little episode, but better you hear it from the horse’s mouth…

And that’s why I need to get over myself.

If you’ve got a story of vanity gone wrong, I’d love to hear about it.

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Stephen Chukumba. How I became a Digital Kung Fu Master.

CAUTION_kung_fu_master_by_whopper1989Remember how I told you I was writing a book?

The Life Digital. Atari to iPad: Growing Up In the Digital Age.

I even gave you a brief intro.

Well, I had an epiphany the other day: I’m full of shit.

My book’s title is full of shit, actually.

It’s so boring.

It is.

I bore myself just thinking about it.

And I bore myself anew every time I read it.

The Life Digital.

Where do I get off?

Atari to iPad.

Just go for the most obvious crap why dontcha?

Growing Up In A Digital Age.

Just hitting puberty Stephen?

It’s descriptive, sure.

I mean, if you read that title, you can figure out what’s between the covers.

But would you really read it?

I wouldn’t.

Well maybe I would, but I’m biased.

The point is, every time I sat down to write, I looked at the title and it gave me writer’s ED.

I just couldn’t get it up.

No amount of mental Viagra could help me.

I simply couldn’t muster the desire to write.

I was flaccid and needed a boost.

And then it came to me.

Stephen, you’re not just some dude who lived in a digital age.

You’re a walking embodiment of it.

The Don Dada, in fact!

Maybe you don’t have Bill Gates money – yet.

But you know that shit is coming.

So you better re-title your as-yet-unwritten memoirs better than The Life Digital.

Rename the book?

Eureka!

I’ll rename the book!

I’ll make that shit sexy!

Give it a title I’d wanna read.

And write.

So this weekend, I did some soul searching.

Who am I?

Tall. Check.

Handsome. Check.

Intelligent. Check.

Well endowed. Check.

But that’s besides the point.

Who am I?

Digital.

Ok. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Mobile.

That’s right, I eat cell phones for breakfast.

Tech.

Damn skippy I’m tech!

And right then, I found my voice – and my new title.

Walk with me, now, and tell me you think I’ve struck gold:

Stephen Chukumba. How I became a Digital Kung Fu Master.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

I know, thanks.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to read about my life?

Especially when it’s chock full of the interesting tidbits that made me – me.

Oh! The places I’ve been.

The things I’ve seen!

The dude calls himself a kung fu master!

Yes. I’m referring to myself in the third person.

For all you would-be entrepreneurs, DKFM will be a rags-to-riches story from someone still in the ‘rags’ stage.

DKFM?

It’s the acronym for Digital Kung Fu Master.

The short title.

Please don’t let the absence of riches fool you.

I am a master of this digital shit.

I’ve just been wearing the garb and trappings of a plebe as cover.

Think Shaolin monk begging among the townspeople.

Oh, he looks shabby.

But he’ll bust that ass if shit gets too hot.

Ya dig?

That’s me.

Shaolin.

I don’t wear my digital kung fu on my sleeve.

I let it seep out in my little blog posts here and there.

A few know I’m a digital black belt, but they don’t let on – do they bugs?

Anywho, that’s my new title, and I should be able to crank out some chapters.

Now that I got my mojo back!

Hiiiyyya! (said making a karate chop in the air)

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Filed under books, branding, social media

Be the Brand. Tips from the (pseudo)master.

Note: This post was originally published August 25, 2008. But it’s so good I just had to reblog. Enjoy.

be-the-brand

I’ve written other blogs on other topics before, but never with the sense of purpose I have today.

Not to say that I’ve never had a sense of purpose in the past.

But I feel singularly inspired to write this blog because its all about me.

‘Who am I?’ you ask.

Entrepreneur. Brand strategist. Technology evangelist. Marketing maverick. Biz dev specialist. Trend setter.

I’m the guy who tells you like it is, whether you want to hear it or not.

To put it simply, I’m that dude.

You know who ‘that dude’ is.

He’s the guy that everyone acknowledges (implicitly or explicitly) when he walks into the room.

The one that you’ll remember years after you’ve met him.

The one that everyone aspires to emulate.

The one with the aura, the gift, the presence.

He’s that dude.

We all have ‘that dude’ in us.

It’s that aspect of us that tells really funny jokes.

Or knows how to solve complex equations in our heads.

Or has ability to remain cool in the face of difficulty.

The ‘go-to’ guy when things really need to get done.

Being the brand is the act of cultivating the ‘that dude’ in all of us.

I want to demonstrate the power of my mantra, ‘Be the Brand,” using myself as a living case study.

I’m not particularly famous.

If you Google “Chukumba” you’ll see about 27,000 results.

Add the qualifier “Stephen” and that jumps to about 37,000.

Not bad, but nothing really if you consider the 37 million results generated by searching for the term ‘Oprah’ or the 40+ million generated by searching the term ‘Donald Trump.’

Oprah and Trump are classic examples of iconic figures with huge brand recognition.

When Oprah Winfrey started O Magazine, people said, “She’s so vain. Why does she need to be on the cover of every issue?”

I thought, ‘that’s brilliant!’

What better way to promote your brand than to put your face on everything you put into the stream of commerce?

Oprah didn’t become a billionaire by promoting other people (although she has made quite a few people rich from her promotional prowess).

She promoted herself.

Similarly, when Donald Trump started ‘The Apprentice’ people thought “Who does Donald Trump think he is?”

He’s practically bankrupt!

But Trump is a perfect example of the value of self-promotion.

Love him or hate him, you’ve got to deal with him because his face, his properties, and his brand are everywhere.

Despite his well publicized failures, you’ve got to concede his staying power and presence are indomitable.

There are countless others who fit the Oprah/Donald Trump mold, both famous and unknown.

I include myself in their ranks, and I am going to prove that anyone can be the brand, if they want to be.

Being the brand is a perspective that allows you to define yourself and your world-view in a way that sets you apart from the crowd, but without thrashing others in the process.

So stay tuned to see what I’ve got to say.

I’ve got a lot to say-I’m quite verbose.

Hopefully, you’ll come away with lots of good advice.

And at least it’ll make for some interesting reading!

Now go be the brand!

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It’s official. I’m writing a book.

No. This is not the title of my book.

No. This is not the title of my book.

It hit me the other day that I should just write a book.

I have a lot to say.

Why should I constrain my thoughts to the confines of a blog?

Why indeed!

So there.

It’s decided.

I’m going to write a book.

And I know what it’s going to be about.

I’ve even got my chapters lined up.

If writing a book is anything, it’s ordered thinking.

So I feel like even if I compile a piece of utter garbage.

It will be a published piece of garbage.

And that’s saying something.

Not that I’m going to let a book I publish be a piece of garbage.

I am Stephen Chukumba.

I’ve got a reputation to uphold.

Dr. Stephen Uneze Chukumba (GRHS) was published.

My dad wrote a book entitled, The League of Nations Powers, the United States and the Italo-Ethiopian Dispute: A Comparative Study, 1934-1938.

I’ve read it.

It’s some heavy stuff.

It’s about the 2nd Italo-Ethopian War.

And how Italy ganged up on Ethiopia back in the day.

Cause they were swole that the first time they tried to colonialize the Ethiopians, they got they asses whupped.

Yes, I said they got they asses whupped.

Got that ass spanked!

In Africa.

By savages.

The shame was too much to bear.

So the second time around, the Italians came prepared and Ethiopia was no match.

When Ethiopia petitioned the League of Nations to protect them from Italy’s illegal action, invoking protection from aggression by another member of the League (pursuant to its very charter) the League failed to act.

Suckas.

That’s why your asses got replaced by the UN!

Pop dukes also penned The Role of Black African Troops in the Conquest of the German Tropical African Colonies, 1914-1918.

Haven’t read this one.

So I won’t bore you with a synopsis here.

But I’m sure it’s more heavy stuff.

My brother, the other Dr. Chukumba, Celestine O.C. Chukumba, PhD, is published.

He authored University Invention, Entrepreneurship, and Start-Ups.

His paper applies game theory to predict the outcome of several scenarios involving university versus angel investor backed start ups.

Also heavy stuff.

He cranks out content for the several websites and blogs he publishes on the regular.

So writing may just be in the blood.

My sister – a real doctor – is not published.

But she writes prescriptions.

My other brothers aren’t published either.

One is very well off.

He might as well be printing cash.

Any my baby brother will likely pen his exploits across the globe one day.

The Hamptons. Costa Rica. UK. Panama. Nigeria. Spain.

He’ll probably write a picture book, a Gulliver’s Travels with biddies.

Who knows.

I hope my book won’t be this rambling.

My point wuuuzzz that I am writing a book.

It will be all about digital and technological trends.

And things I’ve witnessed and experienced growing up in the digital age.

I’m coming up on 43.

I’ve seen a lot.

And I got a lot to say.

I’ve been told I have a way with words.

And that I talk too much.

But whatever.

I’m gonna throw everything I’ve got at ya.

Hopefully it’ll all make sense when I’m done.

Who knows, I may make some valid points along the way.

Maybe I will write it here in my blog.

Why the hell not?

Bring ya’ll bitches along for the ride.

Not that you are all a bunch of bitches or anything.

I’m using ‘bitches’ colloquially.

As in “ya’ll are my bitches“.

Imagine a long drawn out ‘biiitttcchhhessss’ delivered with turned-down lips and a sneer.

Not like bitches on a street corner making money for me.

Or anything like that.

I’m rambling again.

But you know what I’m saying right?

You guys can be my book’s Beta testers.

Give me feedback.

Let me know if I’m tripping.

Or rambling.

Like now.

Ya’ll get me.

Right?

Maybe I shouldn’t write a book.

What do ya think?

To write or not to write?

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They call me the Sperm Whisperer. Tips for making Boys.

pick a gender

Many of my male friends have multiple girl children, and no boys.

As men are prone to do, they seek solace from other males, collectively lamenting the conspicuous absence of he-who-shall-carry-thy-name.

On the outside, these men love their ‘lil mamas, daddy’s girls, the apples of their eyes.

But on the inside, their stomachs are in knots over the fact that one day, some boy/man will come and take them away, and do things to/with them.

And they’ll be powerless to stop them.

More disturbing than the fear of future violation though, is the fear that their line may come to an end.

Because they bore no heirs to carry their name.

We can speak of these horrors no more.

My male-child-less male friends, seek my counsel, as I have sired two (count ’em up – TWO) male heirs.

I am a repository and wealth of information on child rearing and the like.

And while I also have two girl children, frequently, my sage advice is sought for the elusive prize – how to sire a male child.

Now outside of expensive artificial insemination, through which one can virtually guarantee the sex of their child, few know of any real non-clinical methods for obtaining the desired sex.

All too often, men find themselves sweating bullets (and praying) as the ultrasound technician looks for the telltale protrusion that says B-O-Y.

All too often, they mask their inner sorrow, when the telltale sign is not there.

If our spouse (or baby mama) wants to be ‘surprised’, we wait with bated breath in the delivery room (or at the bar) for word of the sex of the child.

Armed with a box of Cohibas, we wait to hear “it’s a boy”.

Only to hand them out, half-heartedly, when “it’s a girl” is delivered instead.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Hear me now men!

It doesn’t have to be this way!

If you want a boy, gather round, and let me learn ya.

The wisdom I pass to you, has been passed down for generations.

The tips I outline here, are tried and true.

While some may be skeptical, know ye this…

I have used them myself and have the gonads to prove it.

If you’re one, two or three girls deep, and you want that next crumb snatcher to be a boy, follow these simple tips.

Tip No. 1: Have sex with your girl in the morning.

It is a known fact that Y sperm thrive in a base environment. The woman’s vaginal canal area is pretty acidic and generally inhospitable to Y sperm. However, in the morning, before your girl is active, and her body temperature rises (from activity) the conditions of her vaginal canal area are ripe for planting your Y seed. So take her before she’s had a chance to rouse!

Tip No. 2: Drink a cup of caffeinated coffee before having sex.

Y sperm are a particularly slow and pathetic lot. They’re not particularly active, as sperm go. Coffee stimulates the Y sperm, giving them a much needed boost. Having a strong cup of black coffee, before you do the deed, gets your boys ready for the task at hand. I’d suggest placing a Keurig on the night stand so that your sperm
juice is on the ready.

Tip No. 3: Have sex doggy-style.

If you’re like me, you’re particularly fond of backshots. However, when it comes to making boys, it’s crucial that you take your woman exclusively from the back. And here’s why. Unlike the X sperm, which have long flagella (or tails), Y sperm have short stubby ones. Thus, they’re not the best swimmers and they tire quickly. So to increase the likelihood that they’ll be first to the egg, you’ve got to shorten the distance your boys have to travel. By doing it doggy-style, you’re placing the end of your penis junk manhood as close as possible to the opening of the cervix, increasing the likelihood that your caffeine-wired Ys reach the prize.

To recap: sex in the morning, after a cup of black coffee, doggy-style.

Got it?

By now, I’m sure that many of you are thinking “that Stephen Chukumba has finally lost it.”

Indeed, as I shared my tips with several of my colleagues yesterday, there was skepticism and chuckles all around.

Sure, it sounds/sounded ludicrous.

But these are scientific truths I’m spitting.

Hey, don’t take my word for it.

how_to_choose_the_sex_of_your_baby

Check out How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby, by Dr. Landrum B. Shettles.

The tips I’ve share with you, are part of the Shettles Method of gender selection.

So Rodney, Anthony and any other male within the sound of my blog, if you want to get that boy (or that girl), heed my words.

They don’t call me the Sperm Whisperer for nuthin.

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Get more traffic to your blog. The Stephen Chukumba way.

Drive traffic to your blog

If you’ve arrived here, you were probably doing a search for tips for driving traffic to your blog.

Perhaps you typed “how do I get more traffic” or “increasing traffic to my blog” or “tips for improving your blog’s ranking in search engines”.

Invariably, you came across a number of different results, and settled upon this site to hopefully find the information you were looking for.

You may have even passed up a number of higher ranked results, when you determined that it was just some joker spewing some non-specific set of tips.

Or worse, using jargon that you could neither understand or apply.

Dejected, you navigated away from that page, back to your search results and happened upon my blog.

Well, friend, you’re in luck.

Years ago when I started blogging, I performed just such a search.

I got back loads of articles, written by folks who, while well intended, gave crap advice for building traffic or publishing a better blog.

Not one of them was truly helpful.

And I spent the next few years, engaged in trial-and-error.

But now I think I’ve arrived at the secret sauce of blogging.

Keywords.

Keywords AND tagging, to be a bit more specific.

What are keywords?

In their purest sense, keywords are how content is organized online.

They are descriptive words that serve as reference points for finding information on the internet.

When used singly or in combination, they help someone performing an online search locate the information they are looking for.

When I started blogging, I would write and post frequently.

One of the ‘tip’ sites I visited said that posting frequently helped to drive traffic to your blog.

So I blogged voraciously.

I paid no attention to tagging my posts with keywords.

Regardless of whether my post was timely, insightful, clever or well written, search engine bots simply did not crawl to it.

And as a result, my little blog saw very little traffic.

Then, I read a blog about the importance of metadata, and started tagging my blogs with keywords and descriptive text.

I just knew that I had found the keys to my blogging salvation.

If I was writing about President Obama, my keywords would be “Obama”, “President”, “Democrat”.

I write, tag, post and wait.

Nada.

I didn’t realize that there were about a zillion other blogs and online articles using the exact same keywords.

My blog was simply one in an undifferentiated mass.

If the New York Times and I both wrote an article that day, about the POTUS, which article was going to come up in a search?

Hint: NOT mine.

Even if I was keyword stuffing (loading a web page with keywords in the meta tags or content), I wasn’t getting more traffic.

All these so-called tips for driving traffic were crap!

But then, my younger brother, Celestine, a friggin PhD, gave me the most valuable tip I ever received about keywords and tagging.

Descriptive phrases.

It’s one thing to add keywords to your blog posts and meta data.

It’s another thing entirely to utilize full descriptive phrases.

Think about it.

Who ever just types one word into Google?

Typically, you type out the full query and hit enter.

The results you get back are those whose meta tags most closely match yours.

If there are only one or two words that match, they are lower ranked.

If several words match, or if whole phrases match, those results are ranked higher.

For example, if you type: “get more traffic to your blog” this post will probably be returned on the first page.

And that’s for two reasons.

1. Because that’s the title of this blog post.

2. The phrase is in the body of the blog post and the meta tags.

Over the years, my blog has seen a significant increase in traffic.

I’ve become much more adept at tagging my articles with relevant keywords and keyword phrases, and that has greatly improved the trafic to my site.

When I first started blogging, I’d get 10-20 views per day.

Today, it’s about 100-200.

Now, I don’t claim to be a blogging expert, but I do know a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’.

But don’t take my word for it.

Try tagging your blog post with descriptive text, and see if your traffic doesn’t improve.

And when it does, tell ’em Stephen Chukumba showed you how.

But if it doesn’t…keep it to yourself!

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Louis Vuitton. Customer service. FAIL.

This is what my Louis looked like in it’s prime. Today, not so much.

Note: You can read this long and rambling post or skip to the end and watch the video.

I’ve just got to unburden myself.

I do that occassionally.

I went to Short Hills Mall today, to drop off my Louis Vuitton messenger bag for repair.

I’ve had this bag since 2001, when I bought it for the wife as a diaper bag for our first child.

That bag has been through 3 more children and several trips to the Louis Vuitton store, to fix one defect or another of the bag.

The first two trips were to fix the elastic band, which had snapped.

This third trip was for the handle, which was literally hanging on by a thread.

The leather loop, which held the strap to the bag, had separated at the joint.

I thought it was a simple repair and was quite taken aback as <the unnamed person at the counter> told me that the canvas was so stiff that she doubted it could be repaired.

I didn’t think the fabric was all that stiff, as she attempted to ‘assuage’ my concerns by ‘checking in the back’ to determine whether her assessment was off.

She then walked away, and (I guess) beckoned me to follow her.

I was slightly unsure because she seemed to have been distracted by the appearance of <some long-lost-or-favorite-friend-or-associate-that-was-clearly-more-important-than-providing-me-her-undivided-attention>.

I was therefore (again) taken aback when she came back around the corner she just disappeared behind, with annoyance beckoning me to…the back?

She had placed my bag on a counter around the corner from where I had first encountered <the unnamed person at the counter>.

She then proceeded to tell me the same thing she had previously stated less than 30 seconds ago.

Perhaps her desire to reunite with <some long-lost-or-favorite-friend-or-associate-that-was-clearly-more-important-than-providing-me-her-undivided-attention> was such a distraction, that she forgot she had just given me the exact same rundown.

I racked my brain to see if I had missed some critical detail in her initial assessment, as she once again explained why she thought the bag couldn’t be repaired…because of the stiffness of the fabric.

“They won’t touch it because it might crack, and they wouldn’t want to damage the bag.”

Ummm…the bag IS damaged, that’s why I’ve brought it in.

Okaayyyy…

Then, as if to clear Louis Vuitton of any further responsibility for the condition of my “rather old” bag, she whisked the bag from my clutches and marched around another corner…presumably to “the back”.

And this next point is literally from a movie…

She came right back out of the same around-the-corner doorway she disappeared into five second earlier, proclaiming, “Yeah, it’s too stiff. They won’t touch it.”

And it was done.

My beloved bag was deemed irreparable.

“You want a bag?”

My mourning over my old friend was broken by the thrust of a crisp brown Louis Vuitton shopping bag into which, was deposited my (now) retired friend.

Can’t have the walking wounded on fully display of potential LV owners.

My shame was tucked out of sight in a sleek bag that would have all who gazed upon my departure from the store, see me outfitted with the signature brown bag (with my ‘broken’ messenger bag tastefully hidden away).

She handed me my bag and traipsed off to join <some long-lost-or-favorite-friend-or-associate-that-was-clearly-more-important-than-providing-me-her-undivided-attention>.

There was no, “Can I interest you in another bag?” or “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Just her back.

When I walked in, I had spied several replacement bags, in the event that the news I received was, in fact, the case.

I’m past the ‘diaper bag’ years, and so I was looking to acquire a new Louis.

My wife has at least seven different pieces, acquired over our 12 year marriage, so I’ve been super loyal to the brand.

The only reason I took the bag there was because of their (formerly) superb customer service.

And the pride (they formerly seemed to take) in their work.

So I was committed to acquiring a new piece.

But this chick pissed me off so bad…

I told my three kids, who I had with me…

Oh yeah, I had my kids with me.

…that we were leaving and hoofed out of the store.

Where I paused, and called customer service to get their response to my repair situation.

I had been so thoroughly dismissed by old girl, that I felt I couldn’t rely on her perfunctory assessment.

When I got through to <an unnamed operator> and ran down the situation, she confirmed that Louis Vuitton would not take for repair, any item that was deemed not sufficiently supple to withstand a repair that could potentially rip the fabric.

She apologized and hurriedly asked me if there was anything else she could do.

I barely finished saying “No thank you. I..” and she was gone.

No, “Can I get your name and email?” or  “Can I send you a catalogue of our new line of messenger bags.”

Just dial tone.

I kid you not.

No effort at all made to assess whether they could help me replace my (obviously) now useless Louis.

I couldn’t believe how bad these guys were flubbing an opportunity to sell me another bag.

Mind you, you’ve got to drop coin to get these stupid brown canvas bags.

Oooo…it’s stamped with an L and a V.

Ahhh….the pink leather patinas over time and takes on this rich tan hue.

Kick rocks!

But here I am, with a bag I can no longer use and not one person at the store or on the phone, even interested in helping me buy another bag.

And so now, in my heart, Louis Vuitton has stepped into the place of poor customer service.

I pay homage to you, old friend Louis Vuitton, with a video.

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Filed under opinion, rant

Despite the slight, I shall still cover Apple’s March 7 press announcement.

Yeah. We're talking to YOU, Stephen Chukumba. You're not invited to our press release. Get it? Got it? Good!

Last week, Apple sent out press invitations for members of the press corps to attend their March 7th press announcement.

I know my seven loyal readers will be shocked when they hear this, but brace yourselves…here goes…

I didn’t get an invitation.

I know, I know.

How could this happen?

I don’t know.

I’ve been asking myself that very question, and I’m still drawing a blank.

I mean, I waited patiently by my mailbox for days.

No invitation.

I thought that perhaps it was delivered to the wrong address.

So I knocked on my neighbors’ doors asking if they had inadvertently received anything with a 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, California return address.

Nothing.

Then I thought, they may have sent my invitation in another format.

Was it sent by email?

Nope.

Perhaps it was buried in the spam folder?

Nyet.

Did they send a carrier pigeon?

Nada.

Was Apple trying to reach me via smoke signal?

No Kimosabe.

I’m at a complete loss.

I find it unacceptable that someone of MY stature (with at least eleven readers – that I know of) has yet to receive an invitation.

But you know what?

It’s okay.

Ever since Steve passed, things have been in a bit of disarray.

While I won’t be able to transmit the highs and lows of Apple’s highly anticipated announcements live and direct, I will still provide some (time-delayed) insight to the goings-ons over there tomorrow.

To be honest, I’m really only interested in the announcement as it relates to the iPad 3.

What features are real?

Which are hype?

What will it look like?

When will it actually drop?

Enough with the rumors!

No more supposition!

The people want the truth!

I want the truth!

We’ll forgive Apple’s faux pas, this time.

But next time, I don’t know if I can be so forgiving.

Apple press corps people, listen up!

The next time there’s a press announcement…I want an invitation!

My fifteen readers will be forever grateful!

Please?

1 Comment

Filed under iPad, opinion, rant, Smack talking, technology

Talking Strategy with the Digital Strategist

I know, I know.

I haven’t posted in a while.

But I have a perfectly good excuse – I’ve been busy.

I really have!

It’s not really a good excuse, but I use it every time I get lax in my blogging.

And it’s been almost four months, so I need to act like I give a sh*t!

So anyway, I just did an interview with David Muhammad, Founder/CEO/Chief Strategist of MadisonDavid Digital, and host of The Digital Strategist, a program on SOMAtv, the public access channel of South Orange and Maplewood.

Now it’s not 60 minutes, and the set leaves something to be desired.

But the conversation with David is insightful, and I wax digital, mobile and me.

We talk about my start in the digital space, working with Digiwaxx, Marksmen Productions and my perspectives on mobile application development.

It’s 28 minutes long, but believe me, it goes quickly!

Enjoy!

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Filed under branding, mobile, technology

Taxi Magic App Works Like Magic!

Taxi Magic

Since I recently lampooned an app, I felt the need to be balanced.

So today, I give props to an app I recently downloaded and used, that I found to work exceptionally well.

That app was Taxi Magic from RideCharge Inc.

I was in Washington, D.C. a few weeks ago, and needed to get to a meeting with a client. I had originally intended to take the bus across town, but the scheduled bus was delayed, and I didn’t want to risk being late from my appointment.

Not too long ago, I had attended a NYTech Meetup, where a Taxi Magic demo was featured, but at the time, I hadn’t downloaded the app.

I immediately recalled the simple and effortless way the app was purported to work during the demo, so I pulled out my iPhone and downloaded it.

Taxi Magic uses your location to locate taxis in proximity to you.

Upon launching Texi Magic, I was asked if the app could use my location, and was then presented with a list of cabs near the intersection near where I was standing, which I could either book directly or call.

Taxi Magic tells you when your taxi has been dispatched.

I booked a Red Top taxi, and received a notification telling me the taxi had been dispatched and was less than half a mile away.

Taxi Magic's map let's me see where the driver is while I wait on him.

There was an interactive map, which showed where the taxi was relative to where I was, and let me monitor the driver’s progress.

When I saw the taxi pull up a few minutes later, and jumped in, the driver asked if I was Stephen, and if I was going to Capital City Brewing (to which I replied in the affirmative).

Taxi Magic let me pay for my ride using the app itself.

When we arrived at my destination, I had the option of paying with my Taxi Magic account (I had set up a Taxi Magic account and input my credit card) with my credit card or with cash.

I opted for my Taxi Magic account, added a small tip and Viola! all done.

I really like the Taxi Magic app because it does what it promises to do – make getting a taxi like magic.

The interface is clean and spare, and even on AT&T’s 3G network, pages loaded quickly.

I didn’t have to work to figure out how to use it. It didn’t crash on me and I didn’t have to jump through elaborate hoops to get a taxi.

There are a few other taxi apps out there, I’m sure, but Taxi Magic is the one for me!

Note: The screen shots provided above were not of my experience, but images I grabbed from iTunes. 

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Filed under mobile, opinion, Smack talking, technology