Tag Archives: upgrade

Apple, why is it so hard to love you?

A few months ago, when my iPhone Xs Max arrived, I was so excited, I could barely contain myself.

I immediately set to transferring my content from my old X to the new Xs Max.

Transferring was a breeze and I was struck by how far we’d come from the old days of having to manually back up your phone, by physically connecting your phone to computer to synchronize your new device through iTunes.

Although I hit a minor snafu requiring technical support, the resolution was painless and instantaneous.

In hindsight, that minor snafu was a portent of things to come.

Let me explain.

I’m typically not a first mover when it comes to anything Apple.

Usually, I’ll wait about a month before copping the latest device.

I let others suffer through Apple’s missteps (and issue fixes and updates) before stepping into the breach.

I probably would have done the same thing this time, but for Verizon offering to swap my old phone and upgrading me to the Xs Max.

But now I had it, was past the aforementioned snafu, and was getting used to my latest acquisition.

The Xs Max has a bunch of cool features, to be sure.

My favorite I found completely by accident when I was putting my Mous case on the phone.

It’s the battery indicator.

Touch the battery icon on the phone and a larger icon shows up on the center of screen showing you how much battery you’ve got left.

But that was just a gateway find.

Touch any icon on the top of the screen and a larger version of that icon appears.

The actual battery life is probably my second favorite thing about the Max.

Unlike Apple’s previous claims that the battery life of their <insert version of iPhone here> had <insert percentage here> more battery life than previous versions, the claim with the Xs Max actually bears out.

There are a host of other features that make the Xs Max one of the best iPhone releases to date.

But then, there are the things that make me want to smash the phone with a hammer.

Without fail, you can always count on Apple to muck things up.

Like when they got rid of the battery percentage indicator.

Or eliminated the home button.

How about losing the headphone jack?

As excited I was for the Xs Max, I knew – I just knew there was going to be a moment when I would be like “WTF Apple?”

My “WTF?” moment came the first time I tried to attach a picture to a text message.

Ordinarily, when you’re typing a message and want to add a picture, you hit the camera icon next to the text input field and the picture tray slides up from the bottom.

From there, you can simply snap a photo or select from your recents.

If the image you’re looking for isn’t on that tray, you can expand your search by opening your photo library in a new window.

The convenience of having your recent photos pop up in that tray can’t be overstated.

But, true to form, Apple has eliminated that convenience.

Now, instead of having a tray slide up from the bottom of your screen with your recent photos, selecting the camera icon opens up the friggin’ camera!

To get to your recent photos, you’ve got to click the media icon on the top left of the screen, which then opens up your media library.

Then, you can select a recent photo or open up your entire media library.

And this is where Apple has outdone themselves.

Before, all you did was select the image you wanted to use and it would be added to your message.

With the new Xs Max, selecting the image is just that – selecting the image.

Pick an image and the blue check box shows up and then – nothing.

You’re not taken back to your message to continue typing or to send your message.

You’re stuck on the screen.

The first time I did it, I felt like Ben Stiller in Zoolander, trying to get the files out of the computer.

There was no obvious way to get back to my text message.

There was no little blue arrow in the footer to indicate that I was uploading an image.

In fact, there was no footer at all.

There was nothing on the screen that seemed in any way helpful – besides the “x” in the corner – which said to me that I’d be canceling the addition of my selected picture to my text message.

At a loss, I clicked the “x” assuming it would send me back to he previous screen where I could retry my attempt to attach a picture.

Wouldn’t you know that my picture was there?

This convoluted process is now how you’re forced to add pictures to a text message.

Really Apple.

I get the desire to thrill and delight users with new features, but why, for the love of god, don’t you leave the things that work perfectly fine, alone?

I could go on about all the other infuriating things about the Xs Max, but why? It’s not like Apple actually pays attention to its users and makes changes in a timely fashion.

Or, more appropriately, they know when they’ve fucked something up. They just don’t care enough to fix it.

There’s another version of the phone on the horizon for me to love – and hate.

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Filed under iPhone, opinion, rant

It’s official. I. Love. Apple. Ode to the iPhone 5.

I’ve been fronting for days now.

“iOS 6 ain’t all that.” I barked.

“iPhone 5 sucks.” I spewed.

I’ve been disparaging Apple because I was on the outside looking in.

Looking over shoulders as folks updated their iPhones to the latest iOS.

Silently coveting the first arrivals of iPhones in the office.

Oh yeah, as throngs waited outside Apple stores across the united states, several shiny new iPhone 6s were delivered to select big dogs at my office.

It was all I could do not to knock a sucka down and run screaming out of the office with someone’s new phone.

If you haven’t actually seen a iPhone 5 in the wild, let me be the first to tell you…

It’s beautiful.

Sure, I disparaged it when I was just looking at pictures.

Yeah, I had nothing but jokes as I reviewed the ‘new’ features (that many have rightly noted exist in other devices well before Apple decided to incorporate them into the iPhone).

But when I first held it in my hands…

I was truly something to behold.

I was lighter, without being insubstantial.

Unlike the Samsung SIII, which feels like a toy, the iPhone 5 feels like a quality piece of hardware.

It’s still the same width as it’s predecessors, so you can still rock off with one hand.

But it’s thinner, which means it slides into and out of your pockets with ease.

I spent only a few minutes with it yesterday, but I knew I had to have it.

So I talked to IT, who told me to cop the iTunes Store app, confirm I was eligible for an upgrade, and place my order.

I was eligible for the upgrade.

I placed my order.

3-4 weeks is what the Apple app spit back.

3 to 4 weeks!

I consoled myself with the knowledge that stores were probably going to be sold out for weeks on end, and 3 or 4 weeks wasn’t really a long wait.

But it was a lie.

It was a lie I told myself over and over as I rocked myself to sleep, weeping with longing.

And then I went to visit my mom and dad in Ewing, where I happened upon my younger brother, Celestine, sporting a shiny new iPhone 6!

I suppressed my initial desire to bonk him on the head, caveman style, and run out of the house, screaming like a mad man with his iPhone clutched in my sweaty palms – confusion (and a dazed younger brother) in my wake.

“Where’d you get that?”

“I know people.

WTF! You know people?

Muthaf…I oughta…

“No seriously…”

“Come on. Let’s go for a ride.”

One hour later, I was holding my own shiny new iPhone 5.

It’s white.

It’s a piece of art.

And I’ve lovingly encased it in a rugged Otter.

I’ve only had my phone for a few hours, and its surreal.

I never knew you could love an inanimate object.

But I do.

Call me a fanboy if you will.

But call me a fanboy with an iPhone 5.

Note: I was a little ahead of myself and previously referred to the iPhone 6.

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Filed under iPhone, technology, Uncategorized