Tag Archives: WTF!

Nicki Minaj’s Grammy Performance. Can we say train wreck?

I was originally going to write about my recent experience over the weekend with SoundHound, Shazam and Quora, but in light of the veritable explosion last night over the Grammy awards, I had a change of heart.

If you didn’t see the Grammies last night, then you missed (yet another) lackluster awards show.

But if you were patient enough to sit through three hours of the music industry’s self-congratulatory adulation, and LL Cool J’s (awkward and painful) attempt at charm and wit as the night’s host, then you might have witnessed what was undoubtedly the most exceptional event of the evening: Nicki Minaj.

Nicki’s Minaj’s performance of Roman’s Revenge received the WTF!? Award for it’s sheer theatrical lunacy.

Titled “The Exorcism of Roman,” Minaj channeled her demonic alter-ego for a crazed, out-of-pitch, barely intelligible five-minute performance, which ended with her floating mid-air above the stage.

If you didn’t see it, please accept my apologies for posting it here:

The response on the Twitter-sphere was almost unamimous: Nicki Minaj was wilding (and her performance was garbage).

Here are a few choice Tweets.

I'm embarrassed. Nicki Minaj should be too.

Compared to Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga seems...normal?

Please, please, please...make it stop!

While I’m sure that Nicki Minaj fans will say that this was the greatest Grammy performance ever (they’re drinking the Kool Aid), the rest of us, who don’t have our heads up Nicki’s (allegedly) surgically augmented derrière, would likely beg to differ.

I can say this much, about her performance, Nicki Minaj pulled out all the stops.

To what end?

That remains to be seen.

But if Nicki’s intent was to get people talking…mission accomplished.

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Filed under opinion, rant, Smack talking, social media

Stephen Chukumba says: “It’s all about con-text.”

Disclaimer: This post contains some politically incorrect content. I am both embarrassed and ashamed to even relate the information contained herein. However, in my defense, I was so amused by some of these gems, that I would have been remiss not to share.

If you text, Twitter, IM, Skype or engage in almost any form of micro-chatter, you’re familiar with “text-speak.” “Text-speak” are those acronyms which, despite their primary utility as abbreviated words that are easier to type, convey a common meaning, and are now used in regular conversation.

I am not talking about all texting shortcuts, like ROTFL (Rolling On The Floor Laughing) or LMAO (Laughing My Ass Off) or even WTF (What The F*ck), each of which is widely used and well known, because in spite their ubiquity, they haven’t been adopted as part of our everyday speech.

texting

I text, therefore I am.

I’m referring to those texting shortcuts, that have made the transition from the screen to our mouths. BFF, for example, is perhaps the most widely recognized text-speak in common use today. BFF (for those of you still dragging your knuckles across gravel or perhaps without BFFs) stands for ‘Best Friends Forever.’

OMG is another acronym that has become part of our uber-forward text-savvy vernacular, and stands for ‘Oh My God’ (or goodness, if you’re not trying to take the Lord’s name in vain).

TMI is a third. TMI, which stands for ‘Too Much Information,’ is a virtual mainstay in this tell-all society we live in. I would have loved to tell Oprah TMI yesterday, when she had the chimp lady on. I didn’t need to know or SEE all that.

Yeah, I watch Oprah, so what?

There are countless others that have made the leap, like ‘addy’ (address), DIY (Do It Yourself), or IM (Instant Message, as in “IM me”). But recently, a friend of mine hipped me to a few that weren’t so familiar, but are (apparently) in widespread use and clearly have their place.

Take ABC for example. Do you know your ABCs? Most of us would automatically answer ‘yes’ (unless, of course, they were illiterate, and in that case wouldn’t be capable of reading this page to form an answer). And they’d be right, but not for the reason they assumed.

In text-speak, ABC refers to ‘Angry Black Chics.’ Two points for whoever knew that before arriving at this point. Listen closely, and you’ll probably hear the term ABC off the lips of a few brothers discussing women woes (“Man I can’t handle no mo’ ABCs, I needs me a white girl!”)

I know you know what AA is. C’mon, stop playing. It’s not Alcoholics Anonymous (although I’d imagine that there are some AA members that text ‘Im going 2 my AA mtg. C u there’, but that’s besides the point).

AA refers to ‘African Americans.’ When texting, or talking, referring to Black people as AAs will help avoid some awkward situations. For example, when discussing your outrage over Tyrone’s promotion to the first junior assistant to the night shift loading dock shift manager position, mask your hostility towards members of the darker nation by saying, “Those AAs get all the jobs,” leaving Tyrone (and the rest of the darkies) none the wiser.

The pièce de résistance of our post today, is definitely 5397. Not familiar with 5397? No, these are not the Lost doomsday numbers (which are 4 8 15 16 23 42 dummy). Nor are they last night’s Pick 4 winners.

5-3-9-7 on the alpha-numeric buttons of a phone, spell J-E-W-S. Yes, take it all in. Hey Skinhead! Sick and tired of Jews? Now you can state publicly that “5397s are taking over the world,” and fear no recrimination of being labeled antisemitic.

I hope you learned a lot today, and ‘Big up!’ to Carmen for her etymological assistances.

If you know of any words that have made the transition from text to speech, please feel free to share them with me. Who knows, you may be sitting on a texting DITR (Diamond In The Rough – I just made that one up).

For more text acronyms, visit Netlingo.

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When Words Are Not Enough

 

This is Stephen's brain on writer's block

This is Stephen's brain on writer's block

In the past few weeks since my last post, I’ve started (and abandoned) a few posts, that I just wasn’t feeling.

Lots of interesting things have happened, but capturing the essence of it has been difficult to say the least.  I would never say that I’m my own worst critic, but in this regard, perhaps I am.

The one thing I hate about reading other people’s blogs is the feeling that the author is just writing to be writing. I’ve got nothing to say today folks, so blah, blah, and more blah.

I told myself that I’d never do that. If I had nothing to say, then I wouldn’t post anything. My little rule of thumb didn’t account for  the times when I had something to say, but couldn’t capture it well enough to put it out there.

It’s quite maddening because I’ve got a drafts (of things I’ve intended to say) out the wazoo (words are literally oozing out of my bum).  

There’s one entitled ‘The Chukumba Rules,’ a kids created standard of conduct we came up with while at the playground one day.  

Another, ‘WTF!’ chronicles my annoyance and frustration with not being paid on time (at a job that only pays once-a-month – can you believe the nerve of these people?). I was especially HOT (I can still feel the flames of fury) when I wrote this. 

‘Selling Your Ish Online’ is a re-do of an article I wrote years ago, but I felt was apropos considering the increasingly digital and mobile nature of the world we live in.

I even wrote one titled, ‘Gangsta Bitch’ about an old college friend, who was unapologetically unmarried and not trying to have kids, yet bewildered about how her ‘me-first’ stance was not well received by the average male (average=trying to settle down, have kids and the trappings of married life – silly average male, how little you know).

Anyway, for my six adoring fans (hey E!), I’ve not forsaken you. I’ve been suffering the old ‘writer’s block’ (it really should be called ‘writer’s malcontent with their writing’).

I’m getting back on the horse, and will force myself to be witty and engaging (or at least pretend to be).

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